Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Getting your virgin on!

So let's say you a 36 year old male running a low budget website in Los Angeles. Strangely enough, the babes are not falling over as they once did when you were an assistant to studio head.

Or in shape.

Sadly, you suddenly realize you have reclaimed your virgninity. Thanks Dr. Phil!

Perhaps it's time for you check out the hottest new looks for abstinence crowd care of Bob Jones University.

I believe Bob Jones University has also banned that phrase's "That's hot" and "Want to go get a Spicy $6 burger?"


Donna said...

I'm disappointed that women's underwear were not addressed. Push-up bras and thongs...are they allowed? CAn stockings be fishnet or have a sexy little line up the back? Are women discouraged from shaving leg and armpit hair? Women can't have manly haircuts, but are they allowed to bleach their mustaches? So many places a student could abuse the spirit of this dress code...

Crackpot Press said...

I think this may have to be a subject of a Crackpot Press investigative report.

While my current condition (see above) may prohibit my participation for health reasons, I think that that we need to send someone deep undercover.

Thongs are the floss of the devil,
All hair must be thouroughly waxed by a BJU waxing official.

To identify with our Muslim Bretheren in arms, coeds are required to wear burkas until they reaching the driving age of 26 and the fifteen part Domestic Agenda Husband care program.