Thursday, July 27, 2006

The Old Letterman Show.

A CPP writer recently put David Letterman in one of his RAD PEOPLE of all time piece.

Would Stewart or Colbert welcome this freak....?

The Old Letterman show was something special.

Daddy... why are the Pogues so boring?

Michael Brown in Playboy.

Now as it is with my most jobs. You're boss probably blames you fora lot of stuff that his fault.
And stuff that's your fault as well.

My recent temporary unempl0yment is a testament to that.

So it's fun for the common man to hear Michael Brown say these words in upcoming Playboy.

Via Raw Story:

Still, Brown saves his harshest words for Congressman Taylor, who accused Brown of being disconnected from the realities of the disaster. "For that little twerp to claim I didn't understand death and suffering," Playboy is set to publish, "he can just bite me, for all I care."

And now because I am talking about Playboy, it also give me a shameless opportunity to attract new readers by showing this picture of Pam Anderson and titling it as I like.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Where the hell is Crackpot?

Well the truth is I broke my collarbone a few moths ago and as a diabetic, the road to recovery is long. I will continue to be in a harness/brace thing for a few more months. No, I don't look like Joan Cusack in 16 CANDLES.

Compounding this has been a brutal gig which involves a great deal of typing. With the injury,
this has left me typeless by the end of the day.

However! I quit this gig and am entering the freelance lifestyle! Ah working from home with my own hours.... so CPP Blog will rise again...

And it will be coming soon!

and there is some great new stuff on the main site!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

And now... feeling MO betta

You feel better already.

Say what ya want about Michael Jackson.

Don't fuck with the Jackson 5!

You feel better already....

You're welcome.

Friday, July 21, 2006

From the American Diabetes Association

"This is a memorable day for Americans with diabetes and other debilitating diseases, and we thank the bipartisan group of Senators who voted to allow scientists to pursue the most promising avenue to find a cure and better treatments for diabetes. Unfortunately, today's sense of hope will be shattered for the 20.8 million American children and adults with diabetes -- and those who love and care for them -- if President Bush vetoes this legislation.

"A veto -- his first ever -- would be a devastating setback for Americans who are affected by diabetes and other debilitating diseases. The President has a responsibility to the 70% of Americans who support embryonic stem cell research. This is a historic opportunity to advance scientific research and it shouldn't be squandered," Smith said.

Diabetes is one of the nation's most prevalent, debilitating and costly diseases. Nearly 21 million American children and adults have diabetes, up from 18 million when the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last measured diabetes prevalence in 2003. If present trends continue, one in three Americans, and one in two minorities, born in 2000 will develop diabetes in their lifetime. The cost of diabetes in the U.S. in 2002 was at least $132 billion.

The American Diabetes Association is the nation's leading voluntary health organization supporting diabetes research, information and advocacy. The Association's advocacy efforts include helping to combat discrimination against people with diabetes; advocating for the increase of federal diabetes research and programs; and improved access to, and quality of, healthcare for people with diabetes. The Association's mission is to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes. Founded in 1940, the Association provides service to hundreds of communities across the country. For more information please call the American Diabetes Association at 1-800-DIABETES (1-800-342-2383) or visit Information from both these sources is available in English and Spanish.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

How a real tough guy talks.

"I have no fans. You know what I got? Customers. And customers are your friends."

"Those big-shot writers could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than caviar."

(On Mike Hammer) "See, heroes never die. John Wayne isn't dead, Elvis isn't dead. Otherwise you don't have a hero. You can't kill a hero. That's why I never let him get older. "

"Hemingway hated me. I outsell him and he was steamed. One day he wrote a story for Bluebook berating me. So I'm going on a big TV show in Chicago and I don't get it, that's sour grapes... I mean if you can't say something nice about someone why say anything at all? "

"Hemingway hated me. I sold 200 million books, and he didn't. Of course most of mine sold for 25 cents, but still... you look at all this stuff with a grain of salt. "

-Mickey Spillane

Monday, July 17, 2006

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I quit my mutherfuckin job.

Okay many of you may remember I took another job some four months ago.

It turned out to be a gig that was so Evil Dilbert, that I couldn't even look myself in the mirror at the end of the day.

I had high hopes for this gig. On Monday and Tuesday, things were really clicking. I had my best week since joining up. I was making people money. Then my boss calls me in to give me an hour long ass kicking from 5:45 to 6:45. I don't know what kind of heat he is under, I get that. But don't take it out on me. On my best week. I was going to walk during the "meeting" but I got scared about not having health benefits.

I gave notice on Thursday.

I'm not a pussy. I have had some rough gigs. My resume reads like a who's who of ass kickers.

I worked for Michael Jackson's Publicist, the first time the little boy thing came around. He threw staplers at me. Until I told him he threw like a girl.

I replaced the guy at Columbia who left to write and direct SWIMMING WITH SHARKS.
(Ya know SHUT UP, LISTEN AND LEARN). I worked for one of the guys who the movie is based on. I got to talk to Han Solo daily...

There was one guy I worked for who is a notorious Zen Ass Kicker..Big Producer now.
His hazing was to give you a karate kick to the face... his shoe an inch away from your nose, he wanted to see if you would flinch. Of the ass kickers, I liked him the most.

But nothing like these folks. A grind that would haunt me to midnite every night. Asskicking upon asskicking from a bunch of F-listers.

I am looking into jobs at the library.

I think working at the library would be fun.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

T-Shirt Contest!

What the hell is this?

I see this commercial all the time....Winner gets a Crackpot Press T-Shirt!

Winner decided by me.

WHAT THE HELL DOES IT DO? And what happens if you put it on your nipples? I'm curious.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Fifth of July

Hope everyone had a good ole time on the Fourth. I spent the evening at a small town picnic and fireworks display. I ate these chocolate cookies with red white and blue frosting. While I am diabetic, these particular cookies were labeled as "Patriotic!" so I just did some extra insulin to do my part on fighting the war on terror.

I took out each cookie, one by one.

They had it coming.

Look folks, I know about all this Kim Jon shit has everyone all rattled up, so go on over to the main site ( for all the facts on Kim Jon.

Short people... they always crack sooner or later.

In any case if you want to see a story about something else, check out this bit about a bear going all Dukes of Hazzard on the Fourth of July.