Friday, December 30, 2005

Blog of the Year

I've been bloggin for just under a year. Some folks I have made friends with (thanks for the Rubber advice.. it ruled.)

Some are friends I already had.

So yeah, as a blogger I play favorites. Hey it's my fucking life.

But the old friends know how I think of them (one wax would eliminate that odor)

But of the newbies:

Here are my top five in no particular order:

Fuzzy and Blue

The Humanity Critic
Made in Korea
Karena
Neil Shakespeare

Always check out the Bastard of Arts and Commerce... but I knew him LONG before 2005 so mutherfucker's was disqualified...

You should name your top 5..

TAG!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

THE BUSH BOWL!

Not so many folks know about this, but this Sunday is the Bush Bowl.

Yes, it involves Texans, but not "those" Texans.

The Houston Texans is what I am talking 'bout. Now with the exception of the woman that I sleep with, I have not had many nice things to say about Texans.

This weekend the Houston Texans and my beloved San Francisco 49ers go at it. Whoever loses this games will get the the top draft choice next year.... USC's Reggie Bush. Also, coincidentally the USC Trojan's will be kicking the Texan Longhorn's ass at the Rose Bowl on Thursday. The Texas/ California rivalry is for just about everything. The Dallas Cowboys to Enron... Nothing good is in Texas (except for family of above-mentioned woman) . We are the biggest states in the Union, though California could (and in my opinion SHOULD) secede from the United States to form the 8th largest economy in the nation. They have Beef and oil, we have Microchips, movies, produce and the AVP. In the Urban Areas of CA, riots break out if a Bush should decide to be man enough to show his chimpmug.

Regardless of Texas's many attempts to kill our economy, we bounce back. Now if only the Governor would stop chickenshitting around and actually get our money back, things will be great.

Now considering ethics are the only thing NOT big in Texas... (Lay, Delay, Bush, Big Oil, Haliburton, etc) it wouldn't surprise me one bit to see those folks throw the game in order to acquire a Californian of their choice. Don't hear a rumbling about folks getting excited about the Texas teams draft prospects. So keep an eye on those sneaky bastards, you can't trust 'em

I'm so not getting laid tonight.

CP

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Hmm Teaching Sex in our schools--Clinton Style

So it looks like the new textbooks are out... and it's all about the impeachment of Clinton

However, it looks like they are cleaning up the lurid details of the Potentially damning Land Deal.

Hmm how WILL the Repubs react to this!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Merry Christmas Everybody!


When I was 18 I had the first Christmas with the "New" family.

My Mom had gotten remarried and the new step kids came over for Xmas.

That year my real brother had given me a new stereo receiver. So naturally I had it plugged in to the local classic rock station.

There was a lot of tension. A whole lot of "Who the hell are these people I am spending Xmas with?"

Who the HELL are these strangers that I am having Xmas with?

I still don't know one of their names. My Mom and Frank were together for nearly 20 years until he passed away last February.

God there was a lotta of tension... you could cut it with a fork.. but we used a spoon to get every drop.

SO the bird comes out. The dinner is prepared. Everyone is sitting around the table and my Mom suggests a moment of silent prayer to give gratitude for the day and the meal.

We bow our heads.

And then out of the receiver.. my brand new Xmas receiver comes...

ZZ Top's "She Wore a Pearl Necklace"

I open my eyes in a "Am I the only one getting the joke here?" kinda way.

No.... everyone else's head is bowed in silent prayer. Then I see Nancy.

Nancy has tear coming from her left eye and she is biting down on her lip just to keep the laughter in.

It was then I started to think this whole, new family thing might work out. There are no rules in life.

Maybe I should just grow up and deal with it.

And so I did.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

A Very O'Reilly Xmas Wish!


Since I am an obedient sort, I am joining along with our fellows such as Agitprop and Media Matters in proclaiming BILL O'REILLY''S XMAS WISH!


DECK THE HALLS
LIGHT A FIRE
SAY A PRAYER FOR YOUR FELLOW MAN

and, of course,

SHOOT A CAB DRIVER Of course most Repulicans I know would say a business man should be able to charge whatever he wants (see: Enron)

Now shooting a cab driver was actually not on my XMAS "To Do" List.

The only thing really on my XMAS "To Do" list involved this:Ahh... and I am done already. Scratch that off my ... ahem.. list.

But I digress, what I found quite perplexing was for this entry I was doing an image search for something kinda Xmasy with Bill. But nothing could I find, not a picture of Bill with a Tree, not one of Bill in a Santa Hat or with a present. Not even one gosh durn Xmasy kind of picture I could steal from his website. So I settled with the Parade crap that opens this piece.


Now my dear reader... which picture is closer to a Xmasy kind of feel?

I thought so.

So anyways folks as I escape the harsh winter of Los Angeles to sit poolside in Palm Springs I really wanted to feel more Xmasy. So I am turning off Mr. O'Reilly and have my eyes towards more wholesome entertainment.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

TREASON!!!!

Forget what Ann Colture says about Treason.
Forget what Sean Hannity says about Treason.
Forget about Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Dick Cheney and George Bush say about Treason.

There is a new traitor in town; a new face of Treason.

And it looks like this:













Johnny Damon has left the Red Sox for the Yankees.

Guess the Yankees want someone who knows how to win a World Series.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Movie Reviews!

Wondering what the Fear Mongers and Bomb Thy Neighbor Types are checking out at the Cineplex? Check out the geniuses at Movie Guide.org

King Kong

Brokeback Mountain
Yours, Mine and Ours
Narnia


Strangely enough I originally found this site on Jeff Gannon.net, One of my favorite right wing websites. (Yes, I do have favorite Righty sites). He was championing the review of Brokeback Mountain as something the "intolerant left" would not like.

Jeffy, read the review... the reviewers aren't exactly big fans of yours.

Monday, December 19, 2005

AW CRAP.

There is only one group individuals I detest more than Evangelical Set.

And now there are a few more reasons to hate them.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Does this sound fake?

So I stumbled over this Blog IRAQ: The Good Stuff. It was refereced at Michelle Malkin's.

It's a written by a father of a soldier in Iraq, and it looks like stuff is going pretty durn good over there.

So I guess the questions is? If everything is so good..... why aren't we withdrawing?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Good Bye Ole Gal.

"By the time I get to Burbank... she'll be ... elsewhere" - Irving Berlin from "THE Unsold Poems of Irving Berlin Songbook"

Thursday morning at 9:00 AM she will leave me.

Tomorrow morning at 9:00 am she will be the property of the Children's Dream Foundation earmarked to help a kid with Juvenile Diabetes.

I had this roommate once, a real character. I got him this job at the company that took off and soon the 1979 Honda that had always stuck with him for 200,000 miles had gone to "Cars for Causes." The last thing that Honda saw was a beaut of 2000 brand new convertible Mustang waving it's fine, sleek ass at her.

Years later, at the Ralph's at Bundy and Wilshire, said roommate brought his groceries out to the new black beauty. They were close enough that he could touch them both with each hand.

"It was like introducing the ex-wife to the new bimbo girlfriend"

And tomorrow, the Lumina will be going away. I will try and shield it as my shiny new black Mustang (went with the hard top) takes it fortessed parking spot away. I will not smile at "Mannie" from the towyard as I hand him the keys and sign the final papers.

Ms. Lumina, I will miss thee.
Ms. Lumina, I will remember the fine times together.
Ms. Lumina, I will remember the expertise you displayed while we did a 65 MPH U-Turn over three lanes of the 405 southbound near the Skirball exit. Thanks for lying to the cop about me.
Ms. Lumina, I know how you weathered the reign of my abuse dening you your 3000 miles check up with the "Auto-doctor" .. yet you always held my Big Gulp. Sturdy.. Strong...
Ms. Lumina you never mocked the woman I brought home.. though sometimes I deserved it. But you also new the keepers. They were the ones that liked you.
Ms. Lumina you knew what really happened the night of that wedding.
Ms. Lumina, I never recall us going for a wax, and yet I still paraded you in public.
Ms. Lumina, you always engulfed me no matter how cranky I was.
Ms. Lumina, I drove you proudly even though my friends did laugh from time to time.
Ms. Lumina, Im sorry for burning you with cigarettes. You deserved better.

But Ms. Lumina.. your emissions just don't cut it when it comes to California Law. Now do they.

And I am a pretty emissive kinda guy.

Your flatulence was your downfall.

Fortunately I have a new, younger hotter model. Please don't hate us because we are beautiful.

A part of me will go with you tomorrow.

-CP

In other news.. ON WITH FUTURE!!!

Hardcore Journalism

I know that bloggers don't always like the fact that the MSM calls them well.. "just bloggerrs"

Well the Drudge Report sets another fine example of hardcore journalism, using hardcore sources.

Today they Drudge runs this headline:

Iraqi Voter: “Anybody who doesn’t appreciate what America has done and President Bush, let them go to hell”...

Well how bout that? We ARE being seen as liberators! Yippee!

Until, of course, you see that A) the story doesn't really exist and B) Drudge's source is THE POLITICAL TEEN, the finest teen newsource in ALL the land.

My guess is this teen is nowhere near Iraq, doesn't have any real journalism experience, and is probably late for band practice.

Thanks for keeping the BAR high Drudge!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Playing the Terror Card


Ken Lay is a jagoff. Check this out:

HOUSTON (Reuters) - Former Enron Corp. Chairman Ken Lay on Tuesday said he was the victim of a "wave of terror" by prosecutors and blamed his former chief financial officer for the energy company's spectacular downfall.

I am sick of these Texas Asswipes who continue to refuse to take any responsibility for their actions or the actions of those they supervise.

Bush, Delay, Lay

Too me it feels as if there hasn't been a Texan who lived by a code since Ed "Too Tall" Jones. Perhaps I'm wrong... but the real question is:


When are the people of Texas going to demand that their public citizens start acting like Heroes instead of victims?

Ken who are the victims here? That's right the people whose dollars you stole.

Rise up Texans, rise up.

Monday, December 12, 2005

A Marathon

I'm sick.

I ran a marathon today from the bed to the couch.

But stayed tuned folks I will be doing some upcoming reporting on subjects as "the North American Country and Western Dance Contest" in Vegas, North Strip: Ghetto Circus, Upgrade Mania, and how to negotiate a half off on a lap dance.

I also rode the bull at Gilley's.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

KING KONG REVIEW: I saw the Kong... and it's HUGE!!

So I tell my girlfriend that I have plans to see "King Kong" last night. A buddy has screening tickets. Just in time for my birthday.


"That's sounds like a FANTASTIC activity that you should do without me!"

So without her I went.

I have seen IT. I have seen "the Kong" and It's huge. I will take her to biggest theater in LA to see it again. She will love it.

Now I am not going to get into spoilers and all that crap. If you want to know nothing, check in later, I'll write something else. Probably about my upcoming Vegas trip..

FULL DISCLOSURE: I hated the the first two "Lord of the Rings" movies (Frodo and Sam --- they're gay, right?) Loved the third one.

Peter Jackson is the new "King of the Bump." "The Bump" is a film term for a guy who can makes action scenes pile up. An intital action sequence, while exciting, is just a small part of bigger picture that gets revealed. Spielberg was great at this before he decided to get all generic.

We all know the story of King Kong. But here is where this flick really breaks some ground-- in character development.

Jack Black actually becomes "an actor" with his turn of Carl Delhman. Sure, the first half of the flick plays as an action comedy. He is a young, idealistic filmmaker who becomes obsessed with getting the big shot. I think all of us can relate to "coming that close" and just not quite getting there. So let's cut some corners. The character could have been a very two dimensional one, but here it's fleshed out. You know why that guy became the way he did. For more on that subject see George Stephanapolus's Auto-Bio "All Too Human."

The humor and the action are perfectly blended. It's not like that whole studio action humor shit.

In "Batman Begins" for no reason during a Batmobile sequence a large black man says "Nice Ride" We're fighting for Gotham City here... this is no time for joking around.

Studio execs should not write jokes. They aren't funny people. Just look at the IMDB for Basil Iwanyk's credits. This guy is THE King of fucking up movies with cute jokes. Yet he continues to fail forward.

Also Jack Black's timing is a thing of beauty... he has several lines through out the film that only "the great's" could get away with. He delivers some "In" jokes and has a running gag that would be disasterous to someone who didn't "own it."

Kong himself is worthy of an Academy Award. You truly understand the mind of the Ape. You understand why he goes all... well... Ape Shit. He has a personality. He has his motivation. You get it.

There is a lot in this flick a standard director would not be able to get away with. Jackson makes it authentic. Even the eventual death of King Kong (no that wasn't a spoiler... see the original.. or the remake... or think about it for a second.. ) is heartbreaking and there is "a touch" that all men recognize as the cinematic "lowest of the low." When Kong fights off the planes on the Empire State building.. you really want him to win. You want him to smash. You want Kong to get the girl.

Also, for those who have seen the trailer for the movie (okay I am spoiling the trailer). There is a scene where Kong takes on some kind of dinosaur. The trailer is a split second of the greatest "KONG VS.. WHOEVER" fight I had ever seen (and I have seen the all). The bigger sequence is mind boggling.

I guess the thing I dug about this flick the most, was just when I thought I knew what the formula called for next-- It surprised me. It was a formula flick that fucked with the formula.

I highly doubt you will see that quote in your paper.

So here's another one "There's a new formula in town"

Okay that sucked too.

"THAT'S A WHOLE LOTTA MOVIE"
"KONGEREFIC"

Okay fuck it.

Worth $10 for the tickets plus $10 for popcorn and a coke plus $2 for parking?

You bet your Ape shit ass it is. Bring a date.

It's "Titanic" for boys. The only flaw I saw was even Jackson fault. Some of the CGI technology isn't quite there yet. Often when Actors interact with the CGI, there is a"phony" quality to it, but King Kong is still the best flick I have seen this year.


-CP

I was really happy about two things that happened during the movie.

The woman sitting next to me freaked during the bugs scene.

Also, I was really happy that I ran into a friend who had fallen out of touch with at the screening. Hadn't seen her in years. Hi Lisa!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ford Has No Balls.


It turns out that Ford has not only pulled all their ads from Gay Magazines.

They have also stop supporting all Gay Events.

Why have they done this?

They strapped on the kneepads then bent over to take one hard and sloppy from the American Family Association, yet another right wing Hate Organization for god (H.O.G.) in the Good Ole Heartland.

What a bunch of girly men.

Oh and then they laid off 30,000 folks for Xmas. Perhaps some extra advertising would help out.

Maybe trying to sell to larger market base might work.

Or perhaps they should realize that Gay men and Women usually make more money than their straight counterparts.

I wish a Festiva on each of them.

Crackpot Press Movie Review.

Crackpot Press has actually been allowed in to a press screening...

Morons.

So tomorrow... put on your favorite white dress, beat your chest, take down a few bi-planes and stop on by.

That's it for today!

-CP

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Screw you, LA Times


The L.A. Times has put out a very cynical article today attacking... CHARLIE BROWN??? The HuffPost championed it as well.

Apparently, they find it very ironic that the "anti-commercialism" themed Charlie Brown Xmas Special is a booming $1.2 Billion industry.

While neither of them actually say this is a "bad thing" it seems that they are trying to point out some kind of wrong doing.

I find it ironic that this is coming from the same paper that just laid off 70 folks, just in time for the holidays. In addition, they axed their "Outdoor" Section laying off another 10 TODAY, the same night the Charlie Brown Xmas Special airs.

Look you self-important hippies, it's called "demand" merchandising. Charles Schultz made a good product, a classic that generations to come will appreciate and find something in that touches them. This kind of work SHOULD be rewarded. A little marketing history lesson...

Do you know who are considered the grandfathers of "demand" merchandising?

THE UTOPIA LOVING, KINGS OF THE COUNTER CULTURE, GREATFUL DEAD!!!!! Their work created a market and, oh yes, "Virginia/Rainbow"... they milked it for every nickel.

People who do honest, quality work should be rewarded in the millions, regardless if you are a teacher at one of the online colleges , an auto insurance agent or a blogger just trying to pick up a couple of extra bucks for the holidays.

So perhaps the L.A. Times should start trying to figure how to turn a profit, rather than bitch about those of us who do.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Dec, 6, 1968


Today is my birthday. I share it with both Dave Brubeck and Ira Gershwin (and ahem, Strom Thurmond). NO ONE shares this exact birthdate with me.

There is this radio show I listen to every year 10@10 on Kfog.com (it starts at 10:00 am PST) . At the beginning the announcer gives a shout out to listener birthdays. For the last couple of years, I have been telling them when my birthday is and sure enough every year they say my name and I am it.

Just Dave sitting in the KFOG balcony all by himself. (Update: WOW! There were Five this year!!)


Growing up all the kids in my neighborhood were all born in the same week Dec 3,4,5,6. It was a real money saver for the folks cause they would all pitch in an throw one party. After all, how many kids birthday parties can you get through in a week?

Two close friends of mine have been born December 10. 35 years later December 10 would represent something something that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

However on that particular Dec 6 of 1968, not a whole lot happened. Every year I look up to see what happened on my Birthday, what was going on in the world, the closest thing that I have found is that there was a mini-race riot on the college campus I would eventually attend. Go Gaters! (Yes with an "E") I went to San Francisco State... Our mascot was a bridge.

Try doing cartwheels on the 50 yard line in that outfit. For the record, I never attempted that.

So I ran the date through a google Image search.. here is some stuff I found.

These immortal words were spoken on this day.

There were fantastic advances in technology.
There was a UFO Sighting in Peru!

This guy had a worse day than I did.

It seemed like just another day around the world.

Some guy missed the bus to go to work, some guy went to an Employment Agency to fill out an application, some one got dumped, someone lost their virginity, someone died, someone went to see Canned Heat, someone got a promotion, someone watched T.V. and tore the tin foil off of a Swanson's.

and someone gave birth.

Just another day.

Yet without this day, I feel a whole lotta things would be out of skew

Today.

TOUNGUE AND GROOVE



“Tongue & Groove”
Hosted by Conrad Romo




A monthly offering of short fiction, personal essays, poetry, and music.

The featured writers include: Andy Behrman Electroboy, Academy Award Winner Kathy Bates,
O-Lan Jones, Scarlett Riley, Chris Shearer, Lucy McCusker, and more.

Musical Guest: Randy Weeks
Special Holiday Performance by Garret Morris.

Always starting at 6:30pm, always pound for pound, word for word and note for note a fine and cool experience.

Sunday the Sunday Dec. 11th
6:30-8:00 pm
The Hotel Café
1623 1/2 N. Cahuenga Blvd.
Hollywood, Ca 90028



FREE!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I'm not a Slut... Just Creative

Over the years I have been described as a philanderer, a slut and a ladies man. Considering that stats, all of these things could be considered to be somewhat true. Sure, I don't have "Clooney" numbers but I dont have a Batsuit either.

But now I realize that I am not a slut. I am just Creative.

It has been reported that Creative People have more sex partners.

The more creative a person is, the more sexual partners he or she is likely to have, according to a new study.Researchers at Newcastle University said this could explain the behaviour of notorious womanisers such as poets Lord Byron and Dylan Thomas and artist Pablo Picasso.

Others famed for their sexual activity were US writer Jack Kerouac, Mexican painters and husband and wife Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, and Italian painter Caravaggio.

The study found professional artists and poets have about twice as many sexual partners as those who do not indulge in these creative activities.

The authors also delved into the personalities of artists and poets and discovered they shared certain traits with mentally ill patients. These traits were linked with an increased sexual activity.

A total of 425 British men and women - including a sample of visual artists and poets and schizophrenic patients - were surveyed for the report, which has been published in the academic journal The Proceedings of the Royal Society.

Although creative types have long been associated with increased sexual activity, this is the first time a link has been proved by research.


So the next time you find yourself waking up someplace you don't quite recognize, Dont' think to yourself "Aw, crap I can't believe I did that"

Just say to yourself "I AM A FRICKING CREATIVE GENIUS"

And leave quickly to write a novel or throw a pot.

For more on creativity see CRACKPOT PRESS

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Funeral Arrangements


Well I have already told my closest friends what do after the Huge "Burning Man" (literally) type ceremony that will be my funeral. Some of my more criminally minded friends have been instructed to put my ashes in a grocery bag and then dump them in the Bellagio Dancing Fountain Pool, preferably to a Dean Martin tune.

But this is a good idea too!

Monday, November 28, 2005

In Your Heart.

Many years ago I went to go see Billy Bragg at the Filmore.

One of the MOST under-appreciated bands outta Oakland, opened for him the "Disposable Heroes of Hiphopcrisy"

Billy Bragg brought all three opening acts on stage for his finale. Even the comedian that looked like Ron Jeremy.. and is less funny than anyone I grew up with.

Including Chris Keegan.

The comedian played the cowbell.

Billy said something like this:

"You know I was going to end the show with 'The Internationale' or 'Red Cross' and we could all stomp our feet and raise our fists and leave the Filmore starting the 'New Socialist Revolution'

and you would go home to your roommate and say 'Billy ended the show with 'The Internationale' or 'Red Cross' and we all stomped our feet and raised our fists and left the Filmore starting the 'New Socialist Revolution'

And your roommate would say "Yeah, well that's great... really"

I want you to go home, tell your roommate what happened... and you roommate says, 'HE DID WHAT?"

If you can't dance, you can't be in my revolution"

Billy then breaks into a half hour version of "The Groove is in Your Heart"

Bitchin.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Spin City



Last night I went out with an old pal for "just a couple of drinks." Friday after Thanksgiving, everyone is still a bit tired, a little lethargic, It would be a mellow night of beers at El Coyote.

El Coyote is old school Hollywood hot spot known for their "scratch Margaritas" and possibly the worst mexican food in the entire southland. If you want to eat go to El Cholo. It's quite sad that Sharon Tate had her last meal there.

Anyways he lays a bombshell on me. Now if it was my bombshell I would spill on this. But since I am the first person he told, I'm keeping to myself. I'll give you hint... we've all been there.

This is when our plan for "just a couple of drinks" goes horribly awry and leads to a frantic trip through old school Hollywood. The Formosa, Coach and Horses, Jumbo's Clown Room and, of course, Crazy Girls. We found a coupon in the street. Also, my pal was nearly killed by a Mini Cooper, fortunately I pushed him away at just the right moment.

Needless to say I was quite hungover this morning. And for some reasons I wearing someone named "Bruiser's" Pet Tags

Fortunately, the Saturday after Thanksgiving is a perfect day to just lounge, slack, loaf, read magazines and books, surf for Finance and Accounting Jobs (I am looking) and porn (new girlfriend is out of town). I flip on the tube and they are running a Spin City Marathon. I go to the gym to try and burn off the hangover. I come back, it's still on. I have been working on some household chores and had the whole damn marathon on. I tried out other channels, but it wasn't a good fit. I tried to watch some football, but it wasn't taking, tried to read Raw Story.. my own writing couldn;t even hold my attention. I kept wathicng more and more Spin City. An above average sitcom ("Average" would be like "The Golden Girls" or "Everyone Love's Raymond") I found myself quite entertained going from the Michael J. Fox years to the Charlie Sheen/Heather Locklear years. I found myself that this above average show was able to keep up the chemistry after losing it's star. What did get annoying was that commericals were the exactly same every commerical break. "Dude Where's My Car (A flick I like much more than I admit) on DVD/TV, Nip/Tuck, malpractice lawyers, Cash Call and Fox Sunday night.

Good work Spin City.

On an another note, I just had the most boring celeb siting ever. I just went to the 7-11 and Jay Mohr and a girlfriend or wife in a "inner beauty" mode buy stuff at 7-11. They got a gallon of milk, some magazines and some Mountain Dew. She was wearing a ring, he was not. He did grab her left buttock in a cutesy way. Earlier in the year I saw John Goodman at the same 7-11, we sang "People Like Us" from his film "True Stories."

By the way, neither of us have figured out to spin "we can't take you out next Saturday.....yet"

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

June Carter Cash

I saw "Walk The Line" this weekend.

Many years ago I worked at the Talent Agency that repped Johhny and June Carter Cash.
I didn't get it... Johnny was still too much of an influence from my Pop. I thought of Johnny Cash as a tough guy poseuer.. like my Pop. My grandaddy was a badass.

The first two albums I listened to over and over again, till I knew every word.. "Live from San Quentin (not Folsom)" and Sinatra's "Songs for Swingin Lovers." When you are six, your options are limited. It's hard to get high on your own supply. It took me 8 years to figure out what the "bleep"was when Johnny sang "I'm the sunofableep that named you Sue" meant.

A MASH episode cleared that up for me.

I let my friend Glenn take an autographed picture of Johnny and June from the file.

The last one.

I met them both. We shook hands. 10 years ago I had no idea I was meeting two legends. Looked like two people who were important "Once upon a Time" to me.

So I am a jackass.... bummer.

Here is something I didn't know.

Johnny was a bad ass. This is fact even amongst the most ignorant of men.

June was badasser.... she wrote "Ring of Fire"

My Pop thought he was... My grandaddy.. just was...

Cherish that Glenn.

Always know who the badass is.

Look for the one who is blocking the exits.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Tin Foil Hat: The White House Press Briefings are getting weird.




As most folks know I enjoy reading the White House Press Briefing daily.
Now lately I have been picking up on something odd. The Briefing
transcripts are taking on almost "middle school play" type endings.
Scotty BoyToy has been out while the President is out of the country,
so others have been taking over.

What bothers me is the way these things have been wrapping up.
For Example (these are all from the last week or so): 
Press Briefing on the President's Visit to China by Mike Green, 
Special Assistant to the President for NSA and Faryar Shirzad,
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy NSA for International
Economic Affairs
Q Is that what they said to you, that they didn't feel the stories
captured it?
MR. GREEN: When the story came out, we talked to our counterparts
on the other side- they called us to say, this story doesn't
capture where we are, we'll put out a statement to make it very
clear what our policy is with respect to Iraq, and that we're
committed to the mission,and that we're, in fact, going to go
to the national assembly to get clearance to extend the troop
deployment.
THE PRESS: Thank you. 
END 3:43 P.M. (Local) 
The entire press corp chimed together for a collective
"Thank You"? That's a little odd. Helen, David and the
Rest all stood up and said this?
Press Briefing by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice 
on the President's Visit to China
SECRETARY RICE (after an overlong answer to a question on South Korea:
Thank you very much.
Q Good to see you again. 
SECRETARY RICE: Nice to see you, too. Good to be with you. Take care. 
 
Press Briefing with National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley 
on APEC Summit Meetings
Q But that will still be in there, right? 
MR. HADLEY: We'll see what he says tomorrow. I've said all I can say. 
MR. JONES: Thank you. 


Press Briefing by National Security Advisor Steve Hadley
Stephen Hadley: Anything else? Okay, thanks. 
THE PRESS: Thanks a lot. 

Normally in the White House Press Briefings “The Press” are simply
identified by a “Q” not an actually name be it “Mr. Jones” or "The Press."
Assuming Mr. Jones is Bill Jones of the Executive Intelligence Review, (Editor Lyndon LaRouche author of “Soldiers of Satan” which is a look at Dick Cheney) this kind
of ass-kissery is completely out of whack.

There is something fishy going on here. The normal video of the press conferences has been dismissed as of late. Maybe it’s because the speaker mouths are less pretty than Scotty’s. But we can’t actually watch it anymore… this too is odd.

Now we do know that the White House has been playing games with theofficial transcripts” but to eliminate the corroborative video is very suspicious.

To me, there is a lot of bad news going on, especially for the Republican Party. Are they just trying to end the press briefings on a high note. Look at any of the Scotty Boy transcripts, they don’t end on this upbeat greeting from the press.

And they had the video to back it up.

Let’s keep an eye on it and see what happens.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Ever had this?


Have you ever had one really great week?

Monday through Sunday...

A really great week?

A "got that place I always miss when I'm shaving" kind of week?
A " I read something that really got to me" kind of week?
A "72 degrees at 6:00pm on a Sunday evening in November" kind of week?
A "Good friends, good football, the good guys won" kind of week?
An "I found a dollar" kind of week?
A "God dealt me an ace" kind of week?
A "Have I lost weight?" kind of week?
An "I discovered a great new band" kind of week?
An "I got paid after a long time" kind of week?
An"I feel alive" kind of week?
An "I roller skated" kind of week?
An "I bought ice cream from a truck" kind of week?
The "that other B.S. doesn't matter this week" kind of week?

I'm saving this week, for a week where it ain't "That kind of week"

Happy Thanksgiving,

CP

Talk about Bad Intelligence


Let's say a reporter is haranging you. You want to get away.

Always know where all the exits are

Saturday, November 19, 2005

MUST READ

For anyone still stupid enough to believe ANYTHING the government and media dish out on a daily basis, comes this fantastic article from Rolling Stone:

Friday, November 18, 2005

When is the right time to give up?


I lost my phone.

I think.

Now it was there yesterday sitting on my desk,during my occasional lunch hour nap.

I called it at both my job and at my house. Can't hear it anywhere. Checked the pants I wore yesterday.

It just vanished... without warning.

Perhaps I did something to piss it off
Perhaps it just didn't think that our relationship was working out.
Perhaps the phone just didn't think it was a good fit.
Perhaps the phone decided the girl with the huge rack next door would make it happier. In which case I really can't blame it... I would leave my phone for the girl with the huge rack next door. She has a better car and smells really good.

Perhaps the phone just needs a break or is playing some kind of "amateur hour" passive agressive game with me.

I think I am gonna give the phone just one more chance to reveal itself.

Just 24 hours more, then I will go find me something better.

After burning all the pictures of us together over the last year.

UPDATE: PHONE HAS BEEN FOUND!!! Note to self: Black car+ Black Phone = Lost Phone

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Who is David Howard?


For a long time I have been going by the Moniker of "Crackpot" or "Crackpot Press".. well here's the truth-- my name is David Howard.

Now I know you aren't supposed to give out your name. But David Howard is a pretty common name.

I did a Google Image Search and found it was quite strange that I have the same name as the following people. Dave Howard is the one that is not Sarah, Louie or Billie. So I guess if you are looking for me, you will know where to find me.