Monday, August 29, 2005

Was there anything that Noah couldn't do?

The LA TIMES ran a piece on Sunday's front page about a Christian Store that is now proclaiming that the T-Rex is only 6000 years old and was, in fact, in the Garden of Eden AND on Noah's Arc.

Now before calling these guys nutjobs. Let's look at the facts.

According to Christ Centered Mall.

"The length of the ark shall be 300 cubits, the breadth of it 50 cubits, and the height of it 30 cubits"; that is, 450 x 75 x 45 feet."

Okay so we know how big the Arc was.

A T-Rex was 14-16 feet tall, 39 to 46 feet in length. So yes you could fit one on Noah's arc. In fact you could fit two. As long as they didn't move. I guess they could make more room by eating... oh just about any other animal on the ship.

They also weighed about 5 to 7 tons.. Pretty heavy for a boat that small... but I guess it's doable. I mean the boat was built with help from God.

Now here is the thing I can't figure out...

How the HELL did Noah get that thing on the boat? Tie a lasoo on his neck and drag him in? Maybe drugged his food? The ole "Free Beer on Board" sign? Is it even possible to live in close proximity to a T-Rex during a flood for forty days. I know people who haven't been able to live with me for 40 days. I am far less flatulent than T-Rex. At least I'd like to think so.

Also, these Christian's make no mention of the Sleezstacks. Perhaps they didn't make the boat on time.


CrackHitler said...

gee. and no room for the triceratops...

Crackpot Press said...

No none... it's quite sad

Debbie said...

Hi, what about the Wolly Momoth. Is there no love for the mamoth?

Crackpot Press said...

Nope... however I do believe Mr. Snuffaluffagus made it.

Rooster Red said...

Sleestaks!! Hilarious!!

Aren't there some parallels between Noah's Ark and that rapids-tossed raft going down the waterfall into a new world?