Thursday, May 19, 2005

Strange Daze Indeed

I arrived at the Arclight on Sunset Boulevard about 6:30pm. The Stormtroopers, led by Darth Vadar, had already marched to Grauman's Chinese Theatre a mile away and returned with the most dedicated STAR WARS fans and the place was heating up. I would have been there to witness the Imperial escort except I have a job (which I hate, but that's another blog entirely).

One of the more sporting parts of the evening was watching Target store promoters get mobbed by fans wanting the free junk they were handing out in bright fire orange STAR WARS bags outside the theatre. Contents: 1 bottled water, 1 inflatable STAR WARS beach ball, 1 small carton of Froot Loops (I'm not making this up), a tiny container of M&Ms, an unidentifiable square package with the Death Star on it that looks like an old vinyl 45, and a commerative "coin" with the "Target Dog" on it holding a light sabre in its mouth. My guess is that the total value = $3.00. As they handed you a bag (or as you ripped it off their arm) they said "STAY ON TARGET."

My target was a petite Asian girl in full Jedi regalia with a pink light sabre to which I would like to devote my eternal lust and a fairly good sized chunk of cash. Her love of STAR WARS and her incredibly perfect stomach made me sink to my knees and weep openly. Hot geek girl sex is one of life's little pleasures. I was going to take five billion pictures of her once I dispensed with her giant boyfriend, but, in a court of law, a good attorney can argue that such a picture falls under the legal definition of "stalking." I'm not going down that legal black hole again.

A special mention goes out to the Princess Lea in the bikini. She actually looked like a real (HOT) woman and not the Skeletors you ususally find at Hollywood events. There's nothing worse than a beautiful woman who looks like food needs to be airlifted to her and we've got 'em here in spades.

Pictures to follow.

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