Friday, September 30, 2005

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

That's right Crackpot Press blog devotees. GW is back! I've been on hiatus due to several unsavory legal issues in Mexico that I had to make "disappear." Crackpot has done an excellent job during my absence, but I must say there is a certain... hmmmm... something... that has been lacking. I'm trying to put my finger on it, so I'm just going to free associate for a moment here... unbridled anger... profound cynicism... outstanding sexual techniques... self-righteous indignation... an incredible head of hair... Sophomoric sarcasm (wait -- scratch that!)... Inflammatory sentiments... literary brilliance... and... lastly... my... nickname... from... all... of... my... many... ladies... horseboy.

By the way Lou Dobbs should be publicly flogged, beheaded, and his face should be stuffed, reproduced, and distributed to Irish pubs across the county and used as dart boards. But I digress.

Celebrity sighting: I saw Stevie Wonder at Asia de Cuba on Sunset Boulevard, but he did not see me.

Endangered species sighting: I ran into a Republican and he spoke in complete sentences.

There are hearings going on in America RIGHT NOW about whether or not "Intelligent Design" should be taught in our schools. This fact is so outrageously hilarious that it leaves me numb. Sometimes I think there is a whole secret society of simpletons who are performing for my sole benefit. I may cancel C-SPAN and rely on the transcripts of these hearings to provide me with comic relief.

U.S. soldiers are trading pictures of Iraqi corpses for porn. I feel bad when I get in the express lane with more than ten items. What is going on in these people's heads?











1 comment:

Crackpot Press said...

It's weird how sometimes you forget things.

At first, I thought Stevie Wonder didn't see you because you were short...

Then I remembered ... oh yeah.