Thursday, February 09, 2006

Today's Word!




Today's Word: Cross Promotion!

I have often been told by my good friend The Bastard of Art and Commerce, "Cross Promotion is the keystone to any good marketing plan."

Then Fox News has it down...today the President announced that a plot had been foiled to attack the Library Building in Los Angeles. The Library Building is now known as the US Bank building. Most Los Angelenos never go downtown unless there is some kind of rave and I doubt that most could even describe what the skyline looks like. Downtown is not an unpleasant place.. it's just far away and only has one major draw.

But Fox News knows all about it. Imagine waking up groggy... haven't even had your first cup of coffee yet.

I flip on Fox and I hear these words "Terrorist... Attack.... Los Angeles"

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

And then I see an image similar to the one shown here.. except close up and graphic.... it's the fricking US BANK Building being blown. Torn Apart! Dismantled! Explod-a-rama!

All the beautiful people could be dead! Who will I hang with?

I put on my glasses only to see at the bottom of the screen "Photo: Independence Day"

Independence Day!!! You are talking about a potential terrorist threat and you are showing a picture of the Bank building being blown up by ALIENS!! Scared the crap out of me!! And I don't live in a place where Independence Day was a documentary.

Oh wait... 20th Century Fox's Independence Day!

Oh well I get it now. This is not the first time the White House and Fox have gotten together to promote this movie... I can recall at least one other image.

I really can't believe they would use a potential terrorist attack to promote a ten year old flick.

Sorry if I made anyone feel old.



Awlright enough bitching... I DO have an awesome website to run. Screw You Fox and your cross promoting ways!! Next time cane you at least wait for me to get my pants on in the morning before you tell me the aliens are here.

At least I will have some place to crap then.

8 comments:

Drew said...

That was the greatest use of URL links that I have ever witnessed. Especially the link to Barry Manilo's ascent to Billboard's #1 spot.

Classic.

Oh.. and Independence Day was the biggest heap of fly infested poop that I've ever witnessed.

Kvatch said...

I'm sorry Drew...but that has to reserved for Roland Emmerich's next flick, "The Day After Tomorrow". In comparison, Independence Day was sheer cinematic genius.

OK, now that I've been totally off topic. Great post crackpot! I can't even watch FOXNews these days. Get's me too damn close to bursting a blood vessel.

Helen Wheels said...

jeezus that's hilarious. I can't believe they actually used special effects from some crappy movie to visually accent the horrors that bushco saved us from.

How CAN you stomach FOX first thing in the morning? Are you a masochist?

Helen Wheels said...

The "awright, enough bitching" link was the funniest, although Petula Clark and Barry Manilow were maybe even funnier?

Crackpot Press said...

I am a fan of Drew's link...

I was going to use Adultfriendfinder.com for "Exploding" but that whole dumb work thing gets in the way of my creativity... AGAIN!

HW- I didn't realize it was still on Fox NEws... I usually watch Jillian B in the AM (the liberal Fox News)

and K, I fortunatelyt missed the other Emmerich Turd-o-rama

Tina said...

Blown = Martha Stewart... brilliant.
One of your best posts Dave... truly hilarious...
and yes, I still do have my Catholic school outfits from high school... except since having a baby, my button down oxfords no longer button over the boobage area, but maybe I could borrow Lil Bobo's?

Crackpot Press said...

That's funny cuz since having TWO kids... Bobo is having the same problem!

But in the forehead area...

Neil Shakespeare said...

So...did you get that 'Old Will Smith Feeling'?...