Thursday, November 03, 2005

Someone interviewed me.

You can check it out here.

For the Canadians.... there is no picture of me in a suit.

However, enjoy this 1986 Prom Photo. I can no longer grow bangs.

If you look closely, you can see part of her diamond watches collection.

Catherine , Nice Gal.

I stalked her down right before my ten year reunion. It was nice to know she was doing great. Really.

It was all very scandalous, because I was in co-ed boarding school at the time and we weren't supposed to date girls from other schools. Especially Catholic Girls.

I used to sneak out and climb over fences and snuggled under barbed wire to see her.


My mom came in for a visit and fell in love with her.

Mom signed a permission slip so I could see her whenever I wanted.

Anyways we got bombed this night, spent the night in a Ramada Inn (which was extremely tame yet I still have the garter) and then I took my SAT's the next morning, scored a 1450...

Go figure. It didn't end well...what teenage thing does?

It's weird to think that next spring is 20 years later. She got married 6 years ago. I am still single.

She is still the "gold standard" that I judge any other woman by. She truly had every quality I look for in a woman. These qualities all go far beyond looks. There was something soulful there. Something adventurous. something 32 at 17 and 17 at 32. I have fallen in love a few times since then...but it's not the same thing... there wasn't "the magic" or "the simple." All the "what are they thinking" bullshit corrupts the emotion.

The girlfriend after this and I got into a fight. I remember saying "Goddammit Catherine." My girlfriend's name was Diane.

True love is a simple emotion. It's a base emotion, no different than flipping someone off in traffic. It's easy and heartfelt. Over the years cynicism, suspicion,insecurity, mysoginy and the Sex in the City synonym taint this true emotion. It makes it hardest emotion to express; a crystal pitcher of dirty martinis. True Love is selfless, the hardest emotion. I dare you to let your guard down.

Guess Catherine was one in a million... or at least in a hundred.

She is the only woman I ever fell in love with AND didn't sleep with.

2 comments:

Tina said...

Awwww Crackpot... I am so honored that you let me see this pix 1st before all others. I'll email ya back about the other topic... and you're so correct about love and the criteria by which all others are judged. And I wonder how many women are lucky enough to have that esteemed place of honor as a "first love", yet don't even know it?

totolehero said...

that is so true...
the guy that i loved for 4 years is my stardard (i call him the ultimate salmon, cuz people say: "there are other fishes in the water") and he doesn't know how much i liked him, but it's ok...
i'm sure you will end up meeting someone who is even better than Catherine... i wish that for you!

love IS selfless... (i hear ya on that one!)