Tuesday, November 08, 2005


I was once a very powerful studio exec at Columbia/TriStar Pictures. God those were good times.

It was a while ago but I had it all; pink diamond rings, Psychotherapy T Shirts, Jay Maloney's AND Don Simpson's beeper numbers on my speed dial. Kaye Popofsky and Jackie Marcus still returned my calls, all four hungry for a three blowjob deal.

It was a simpler time.There was no internet, no expanded home markets mortgage rates were at an all time low, no one had ever heard of vioxx lawsuits and my penis was coveted.. by the best.

I still have the thong that Elizabeth Berkley gave me... in a meeting. It now hisses the scent of spoiled gouda.

I was taken down by my own arrogance. I insulted the chef at the Rita Hayworth dining room, the studio could live without me, but not without his legendary egg white, avocado, eel southwest tex mex scramble. He works at Lion's Gate now... bitch.

But now I am BACK!!! BACK I SAY!!!

I HAVE PUT TOGETHER THE MOST EXCELLENT MOVIE EVER. Sure it's a remake... but damn if it isn't the feel good movie of the year. I wept (down there) the moment I first read it. Jack and Shelley remembered me from that thing with the thing..you gotta hand it to that guy... most loyal manI have ever met.

Shelley could still use a sandwich; A CRACKPOT Sandwich.. BowBowBow.

You can view the trailer here.

I'm SO Back. Lizzy, I need some new panties.



totolehero said...

hmmm i'm confused...

i know it's no more fun when you have to explain things to them, but remember that English is not my first language...

Crackpot Press said...

Confusion? Well that's about Par...

Just view the trailer..

It should answer all of your questions.

You are familiar with the original?

Tina said...

Crackpot: What I wouldn't give to see Scatman Carruthers "scat" to Salisbury Hill....
to fulfill my childhood fantasy of getting to tapdance on those super-duper shiny hardwood floors in the hotel... I'd dance circles around those freaky-deaky dead twins.