Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Bill O'RILEY has announced the following:

Bill: I'm glad the smear sites made a big deal out of it. Now we can all know who was with the anti-military internet crowd. We'll post the names of all who support the smear merchants on billoreilly.com. So check with us.

We hate you! Please link to us. And I am from San Francisco... the town that the President is too chickenshit to visit.

At Crackpot Press we only speak in cold hard facts. Unlike other folks who may or may not have a show


He was the First Choice to play Opie on the "Andy Griffith Show" but had to bow out due to the mumps. In 1982, He keyed Ron Howard's car while it was parked at Chasen's.

His show is syndicated in Ireland where he is known as Herschel Sanchez.

He makes up one word a day so his audience thinks he delifabtastical.

He makes me giggle when he uses the word "pithy." It make him sound gay.

Hair is real... tie is painted on every night.

He dated the Olsen twins... before they were famous.

He launched Ann Colture's career from the floor of Penn Station ladies room.

He is one of four people in the United States who becomes less funny the higher you get. The other three are Alan Greenspan, Jared from Subway and my boss.

He is the secret owner of a family of Lassa Apsos who live under assumed names in a small town outside Plano, Texas. He does send money, but does not praise them.

He was the first man to knit a functioning rubber. It was teal.

He grew up in a "Family Bed;" WAY before it was cool.

He cannot pronounce the Number 79.

So Bill Screw you! We tell the truth!

And my crappy promotional stuff kicks your crappy promotional stuff's ASS!

1 comment:

Alicia said...

That is fabulous! Who knew? Right on, bro!