Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Good Bye Ole Gal.

"By the time I get to Burbank... she'll be ... elsewhere" - Irving Berlin from "THE Unsold Poems of Irving Berlin Songbook"

Thursday morning at 9:00 AM she will leave me.

Tomorrow morning at 9:00 am she will be the property of the Children's Dream Foundation earmarked to help a kid with Juvenile Diabetes.

I had this roommate once, a real character. I got him this job at the company that took off and soon the 1979 Honda that had always stuck with him for 200,000 miles had gone to "Cars for Causes." The last thing that Honda saw was a beaut of 2000 brand new convertible Mustang waving it's fine, sleek ass at her.

Years later, at the Ralph's at Bundy and Wilshire, said roommate brought his groceries out to the new black beauty. They were close enough that he could touch them both with each hand.

"It was like introducing the ex-wife to the new bimbo girlfriend"

And tomorrow, the Lumina will be going away. I will try and shield it as my shiny new black Mustang (went with the hard top) takes it fortessed parking spot away. I will not smile at "Mannie" from the towyard as I hand him the keys and sign the final papers.

Ms. Lumina, I will miss thee.
Ms. Lumina, I will remember the fine times together.
Ms. Lumina, I will remember the expertise you displayed while we did a 65 MPH U-Turn over three lanes of the 405 southbound near the Skirball exit. Thanks for lying to the cop about me.
Ms. Lumina, I know how you weathered the reign of my abuse dening you your 3000 miles check up with the "Auto-doctor" .. yet you always held my Big Gulp. Sturdy.. Strong...
Ms. Lumina you never mocked the woman I brought home.. though sometimes I deserved it. But you also new the keepers. They were the ones that liked you.
Ms. Lumina you knew what really happened the night of that wedding.
Ms. Lumina, I never recall us going for a wax, and yet I still paraded you in public.
Ms. Lumina, you always engulfed me no matter how cranky I was.
Ms. Lumina, I drove you proudly even though my friends did laugh from time to time.
Ms. Lumina, Im sorry for burning you with cigarettes. You deserved better.

But Ms. Lumina.. your emissions just don't cut it when it comes to California Law. Now do they.

And I am a pretty emissive kinda guy.

Your flatulence was your downfall.

Fortunately I have a new, younger hotter model. Please don't hate us because we are beautiful.

A part of me will go with you tomorrow.


In other news.. ON WITH FUTURE!!!

1 comment:

Tina said...

I know the pain you are feeling. The first car I bought for myself when I was in college was a 5 speed VW Rabbit. I loved that lil car. It was so reliable. So trustworthy... yet gas efficient for my college budget. The night before I handed her over to a guy who collected all kinds of VW's and had the know-how to repair her engine, I made sure she was all cleaned up and I sat behind the wheel for about an hour listening to music... remembering all the good times we had and how many miles we shared, and how she never complained when I bought something silly like a new pair of un-needed shoes when she needed new tires or a squeaky belt replaced. But I should have listened to her about my ex-boyfriend Scott... she could always smell a passive-aggressive jerkoff waaay before I could.