Thursday, January 26, 2006

Why Spying is Bad.


The Government wants to looks through your emails, listen your phone and find out what you are searching for the web.

Here is one reason they should not read your emails.

I have confided in many of you that even though (new girlfriend girl) is great for me, she is a Bushie, but I am gonna go with it for now who knows maybe I change her. (Note to Women: Can you ever change them?

This all stemmed for an email conversation while we first seeing each other in October.

I had written something about Texans being liars or the Houston Astros were doomed in the World Series was being played on Enron Field etc. As I tend to do.

Her email response:Actually I like our president. I am not from Texas, I was born in Oklahoma

My email response: Ya know that Bush thing is usually a deal breaker. But letÂ’s see how this works out.


I get internally furious, how could she have hidden this tterrible terrible fact from me. I finally meet someone with potential, who likes Baseball and now she is a REPUBLICAN!!!! One of them? A member of the Rice Squad? A Chimp Sheep? Am I getting into bed with the enemy? Is it time for a blindfold and a last cigarette? Are my phones going to be tapped? Am I gonna have to stop watching the AVP every Sunday Morning at 10:00 am on FSN to go to CHURCH!!! FUCKING CHURCH!!! No, I only pray to Rachel Wacholder. (the Patron Saint of Crackpot Press--The Saint of Golden Calves) . Our perhaps she is just trying to blow me off.

But pretty much every calculated step I have ever taken in every relationship has been wrong. So I decided to go for it (Ala George Costanza), the red and the blue bandanas can fall where they may.

Political talk is kept to minimum. There are lots of other things to talk about. Sure, I watch the Sunday Morning Shows but she usually keeps to herself with the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.

I get a call from her last weekend from Sundance Hey you will never guess who I just met. Here's a hint: YOU voted for him?Meaning AL Gore.

So last night, we are flipping around the channels and I stop for a second to listen to Rummys press conference on CNN. She was bitching about Rumsfeld. I knew she didn't like Him.. So I said "Hey's he's your boy's boy"

Well after hemming and hawing she tells me "How the HELL did you think I like Bush?"

We went through both of our emails and neither of us could find the original.

Apparently, what it was SUPPOSED to say was:


Actually (no I) like our president (COMMA) I am not from Texas, I was born in Oklahoma. (He was born in New England).

So there you go folks, a serious travesty averted.

So that's why certain emails shouldn't be scrutinized.

Let's say you were at Ann Colture's website and it said something like:

"I want to Blow Bush"

At the word "up" in there and you are in serious trouble.

Now with all of that said and all of this nonsense out of the way and understood and now everyone knows that New Girlfriend Girl has only ONCE voted Republican in her life (Guiliani) there is only one questions remaining!

Am I still on "Getting Groovy" restriction?

8 comments:

Tina said...

Crackpot: Holy crap... now I am very creeped out. I think you are onto something there, Dave. I have 3 emails missing to my Republican friend who works for the Army Corps of Engineers in Germany. He can't find them either, but we both know that they exist b/c we sent attachments along w/ the emails.

"Note to Women: Can you ever change them?"..... bwhaaaaaaa!
You're not serious are you?

I dated a Republican from NY before I met Hubby. We broke up b/c I could not risk a man who was so heartless to the rest of American society raising any children I could have had with him. I could not allow him the chance to turn innocent children into heartless, greedy, soul-less robots like him and the rest of his family. No... no one truly changes. You get what you get. We may change behaviors (like fear of commitment, cheating, overspending, drinking, etc...) but we really don't change who we really are inside. She is obviously a Republican b/c that kind of outlook on life suits her, appeals to her, or is familiar to her. That's why anyone is a member of any affiliation... you have common goals, common agenda, common outlook and beliefs.
Just ask yourself why are you a Democrat?

Crackpot Press said...

But she is not a Replublican!!!

She is a moderate Dem... like me!

Crackpot Press said...

The whole point of the story is that I misread my intel.

Crackpot's Girlfriend said...

Thanks for clearing my name.

Kvatch said...

But pretty much every calculated step I have ever taken in every relationship has been wrong. So I decided to go for it (Ala George Costanza), the red and the blue bandanas can fall where they may.

That's the spirit. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain, and let's face it, variety is the spice of life. Who wants to argue in an echo-chamber?

Tina said...

Oh, oh,...gotcha... gotcha. I guess that's what I get for reading your post, dialing and being put on hold on my cell with every single Dem senator-- begging them to filibuster, making the kiddo a PB & J, and making sure she gets to the potty on time AND washes her hands... my Super Woman/Mom cape was dragging on this one.

But that still doesn't explain my missing emails to my GOP friend in Germany... can Crackpot crack the case?

Crackpot Press said...

Hmm Missing emails.. 3 ... what were the attachements?

Also have yo checked your sent mail to makle sure they went?

Re: Dating a Republican.. I haven't dated one since college.. they were always kinda "eh" in the sack. Is this a universal thing or is it just Berkely Republicans?

Tina said...

Crackpot: This the REALLY freaky part:
1. The first attachment was a pix of my friend holding my kiddo on his lap in my back yard in a giant pile of leaves when he last visited the States in October.
2. The second attachment was of an article I found about the freako Religious Frighters starting some shit about gay people's health benefits (if they have HIV, AIDS, or want to put their partners on their insurance and/or their kids).
3. The third attachment was just a funny pix I came across that showed Bush and Cheney in tuxes looking like they were pledging their love for each other at a civil union ceremony.

He got them all. He sent me emails back telling me that he loved them... especially the pix with my kiddo. He printed it out and put it in a frame already.

It is just the originals that we can't find... keep in mind... he is a gay Republican working for the Army Corps of Engineers in Germany. Something just doesn't seem right.