The Girls of Summer

The Girls of Summer are rapping up this weekend with The Honolulu Open. The top eight teams compete they are:

1. Misty Traenor-May/ Kerri Walsh
2. Elaine Youngs/ Rachel Wacholder
3. Holly McPeak/Jern Kessey
4. Tati Minello/ Mimi Marins
5. Tyra Wilson/Makare Turner
6. Dianne DeNecochea and Tammy Leibl
7. Carrie Busch and Leanne McSorley
8. Brooke Niles and Sarah Straton

Now everyone in the world is betting on a 1 vs. 2 championship match. However you cannot ignore the power of the #7 seed.

Bush/McSorley can take out Rachel and EY. They have had some close matches with them through out the year. However, Rachel Wacholder (AVP 2005 Most Improved and Star of Daily Kos BlogAds) and EY (AVP 2005 MVP) have had a monster year taking out the defending Gold Medalists 3 times. They got a lot of fight but if they don’t bring their A game or get sloppy Busch/McSorley could pull an upset.


Also the Brazillian Dynamic Duo Minello/Marins are always underanked. The biggest reason for that is that it costs a lot of cash to fly from Brazil to the various US tournaments. So they don’t play as many… they are the most serious threat against May/Walsh and Wacholder/EY.


Brooke Niles and Sarah Stanton will be taken out easily by May/Walsh.. but their inclusion alone into this tournament is a victory. Watch out for these two they are gonna be hell on earth next year… Niles could be the next year’s Wacholder.

Art vs. Life

Let's take a look at today's headlines:

Raw Story: Times reporter fingers Cheney chief
of staff as leak source; Indictments?
MoxieGRRRl: Starts with Judith Miller and Variety of news items
Wonkette:The Price of Miller's Freedom
CNN:Jailed reporter freed, testifies in CIA leak probe
Huffington Post: Miller Walks to Testify Today

Drudge Report: STEAK IN VEGAS COSTS $190!

SO it's one thing when life imitates Art... but when life imitates the famous "There's a Sale at Penny's" scene from AIRPLANE!, things are getting pretty warped.

And GW... Welcome Back!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

That's right Crackpot Press blog devotees. GW is back! I've been on hiatus due to several unsavory legal issues in Mexico that I had to make "disappear." Crackpot has done an excellent job during my absence, but I must say there is a certain... hmmmm... something... that has been lacking. I'm trying to put my finger on it, so I'm just going to free associate for a moment here... unbridled anger... profound cynicism... outstanding sexual techniques... self-righteous indignation... an incredible head of hair... Sophomoric sarcasm (wait -- scratch that!)... Inflammatory sentiments... literary brilliance... and... lastly... my... nickname... from... all... of... my... many... ladies... horseboy.

By the way Lou Dobbs should be publicly flogged, beheaded, and his face should be stuffed, reproduced, and distributed to Irish pubs across the county and used as dart boards. But I digress.

Celebrity sighting: I saw Stevie Wonder at Asia de Cuba on Sunset Boulevard, but he did not see me.

Endangered species sighting: I ran into a Republican and he spoke in complete sentences.

There are hearings going on in America RIGHT NOW about whether or not "Intelligent Design" should be taught in our schools. This fact is so outrageously hilarious that it leaves me numb. Sometimes I think there is a whole secret society of simpletons who are performing for my sole benefit. I may cancel C-SPAN and rely on the transcripts of these hearings to provide me with comic relief.

U.S. soldiers are trading pictures of Iraqi corpses for porn. I feel bad when I get in the express lane with more than ten items. What is going on in these people's heads?

Death

of

the

soul

isn't

worth

an

ounce

of

skin.

Scooter

It's time to put on make up, it's time dress up right, It's time to get things started on the muppet show tonight!

This week has been blog heaven.

Okay, so Scooter Libby hase released Judith Miller from her confidentiality agreement.

I am asking myself, why?

So this week you got Scooter, Karl Rove, Tom Delay and Bill Frist?
Delay has had his trial set to start the this month

This is serious shit. They have to have something up their sleeve.

But what is it?

It could be to get all this stuff over and done with before the election year, when the Repubs start erasing the people 's memory of Pat Tillman, Katrina, Schaivo, Social Security, the Unwinnable war, spiraling defecits and gas prices. Rip the band aid off. I don't think so.

They must all think they can beat the rap. Let's see how they do it.

The only thing I can tell you for sure, is that if they don't, well be here to make fun of them.

A Song for Cowboys

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

Keep movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them doggies movin' Rawhide!



Don't try to understand 'em,
Just rope and throw and brand 'em,
Soon we'll be living high and wide.
Boy my heart's calculatin'
My true love will be waitin', be waiting at the end of my ride.

Move 'em on, head 'em up,
Head 'em up, move 'em out,
Move 'em on, head 'em out Rawhide!
Set 'em out, ride 'em in
Ride 'em in, let 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in Rawhide

Cheer up guys! There is always a career in the car insurance industry!

The Meth Driven Life

Okay let's say a guy on the lamb, after leading a courthouse massacre , ends up at your house.

You could A) Read Him to him from the "Purpose Driven Life" and become national hero to millions of Christians.

B) Cut some fat fucking rails and drive him insane by reading a "Purpose Driven Life"

Let's see what really happened:

ATLANTA — The woman who says she gained the trust of suspected courthouse gunman Brian Nichols (search) by talking about her faith in God discloses in a new book that she gave him methamphetamine during the hostage ordeal.

Smith says Nichols had her bound on her bed with masking tape and an extension cord. She says he asked for marijuana, but she did not have any, and dug into her crystal methamphetamine (search) stash instead.

Whole Story Here

I love's a good grillin.

It's turning into Indian Summer here in LA. The weather is a "just good to be alive" 78 degrees.

So in Indian Summer, it's time to talk about Grilling...

But this Grillin is of Michael Brown....

The cook.... Crackpot Press's favorite Republican Rep. Chris Shays (R-Conn)

In a heated exchange, Rep. Christopher Shays questioned whether Brown did enough to coordinate the response.

"What would you like for me to do congressman," Brown asked the Connecticut Republican.

"That's why I'm happy you left," Shays said, "because that kind of, you know, look in the lights like a deer, tells me that you weren't capable to do the job."

Strangley enough, (?) Fox News made little mention of this and continues to think "Brownie" is a hero.

Strange only because Republicans throw better BBQ's than Democrats, I would not think this would not be the time to relish in a Victory.

Oooh... the relish pun is BAD!

Extreme Home Makeover-- Next Target

The next Target for Extreme Home Make Over is... the Bush Family.

Morning Sickness is tough. Especially when you are a man.

I saw this bit this AM.

WASHINGTON - Facing criticism that he appeared disengaged from the disaster wrought by Hurricane Katrina, President Bush has been looking for opportunities to show his concern. But the White House will take the effort a step further Tuesday, venturing into untested waters by putting the nation's first lady on reality television.

Laura Bush will travel to storm-damaged Biloxi, Miss., to film a spot on the feel-good, wish-granting hit "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." Mrs. Bush sought to be on the program because she shares the "same principles" that the producers hold, her press secretary said.
It's not clear exactly what Mrs. Bush will do, but Tom Forman, executive producer and creator, said he is hoping that she'll just pitch in and help unload.


Reality shows where they a can edit out the "Go Fuck Yourself Mr. Cheney's".
And Extreme Home Makeover is the KING of "Push Your Buttons" editing. Every sickeningly sweet half hour makes "Terms of Endearment" Look like "Rambo." I know they are doing good stuff for folks but they are so "Self -Congratulatory" it gives me Sunday Evening Sickness

Just think, if the Bush Family (it would be nice if the twins could put their cocktails down long enough to help out, I don't see Jeb doin much) had done anything in reality.

There would be no need to do a reality TV show.

It's yet another attempt to clean up their past, by re-cutting it.

How to become the HEAD of something.

If you follow the right's example... you lie, cheat and steal..

See this bit at Wonkette.

The guy who masterminded the funderaiser Operation: Rip off Grandma (from the school of Enron) has been elected to head the College Republicans.

He has no plans to enlist at this time.

Mystery Solved!

Why was Bush playing the guitar while New Orleans flooded?

Scott Mclellan gives us the answer in the 9-22 Gaggle.

Q How is it going to help the people of Texas practically prepare for this storm that the President is going to fly in to take a firsthand look at preparations and show support for first responders? How is that going to practically help them do what they have to do?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I think we're going to have as minimal a footprint as possible. We're not going to get in the way of the ongoing preparations that are going on. We go out of our way when we travel to make sure that that doesn't happen. The President wants to go in there and be able to thank all those first responders as they are gearing up for the challenges that will be coming shortly thereafter. That's why we're going there first, for a short amount of time, and then going on to Colorado. And it will also give him a chance to see firsthand some of the preparations that are underway on the ground.

Q But it sounds like a bit of a photo op, one that he'd prefer over playing the guitar at the airport photo op before Katrina.

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, first of all, let's correct the record on that. There was a reporter from your news organization that was backstage during that event. That was an event to go and thank our troops and talk about the war on terrorism. And it was not an event, as you may have portrayed to some people that are watching this out there by this simple statement. It was --

Q He didn't pick up the guitar while the hurricane was rolling into Louisiana?

MR. McCLELLAN: -- much more than that. The person that was entertaining our troops there presented a gift to the President. So I think you need to make that clear to everybody who's watching this or to your viewers. And it was one of your colleagues at ABC News who was backstage taking a picture of that.

Q It was a very good picture and I'm proud of her, but the question I have --

MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, but that picture was taken by someone -- hang on, hang on, Terry -- that picture was taken by some people way out of context. And it was portrayed that the President was simply doing that, and that's not the case, as you and I know.
Q The point was that he was over there and not --

MR. McCLELLAN: As you and I know, I had announced shortly before that, that we were returning the next morning. As you and I know, we had announced the President -- the day before -- all the briefings he was participating in. The President spoke the day before. He spoke that day about the hurricane. So let's just set the record straight.

Q Fair enough.
MR. McCLELLAN: I think that's unfair.
Q So the trip to Texas to take a look at the preparations and show support for the first responders is not a photo op?
MR. McCLELLAN: This is very much something that's in flux. I would describe it the way I did. This is a catastrophic hurricane that is headed toward the coast of Texas, and the President wants to go and be able to see some of the preparations that are underway and thank all those who are involved in preparing for this response. He is the President, and, as he indicated to you all, it is his responsibility when it comes to the federal government's role in these hurricanes. And he made the decision that this is what he wanted to do tomorrow.
Q Are you not doing anything on Katrina on this trip?
MR. McCLELLAN: I'm sorry?
Q Are you not doing anything on Katrina?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I don't want to rule that out --

The Art of the Flake

In Los Angeles, it is sort of a given that actor's are a flaky breed. They flake for no apparant reason. In fact in Los Angeles, "I Flaked" is an acceptable excuse for not showing up.

"Why didn't you come to my wedding?"

"I Flaked"

"Excellent"

If you try Match.com in LA people's will put up their profile's specifically mentioning "NO ACTORS"

Sure this is a bigotted broad generalization, but it's about 90% true.

The flake factor is an epidemic throughout many different occupations.. Actors have made flaking part of "their craft."

Case in Point, I live in the San Fernando Valley, a place to where none of your friends will come visit you. The ones in Hollywood or West Hollywood would rather take the 45 minute trip to Santa Monica rather than making the 10 minute drive over the hill. Granted this is fact. I should know better and just fucking move. After all, Santa Monica does have a beach.

But in the meantime, I need to find fun daytime weekend activities. Most of my friends can't get out of bed before the crack of dusk anyways. I'm riding around on my bike, and I see this banner. "Shakespeare in the Park" Saturday, Sunday 4-6. Okay this sounds amusing. Even if they suck, a hour or so in the Park on a beaut of an autumn afternoon would be nice. Maybe meet some nice folks. Valley Folks... people I can hang out with outdoors on the weekends.

I can't make the Saturday performance so I cruise on over on Sunday. I get there and there's no one there. No Actors, no silly pretentious wannabes who realize that Mamet could kick Shakespeares ass (literally) any day they call a cage match.

Gimme "Mamet in the Park" (or Mam-AY for the jagovs in the room)
Just me and the banner.

We made sweet love.

Rock Star INXS

So I flip on the tube last night and watch Rock Star INXS. I hadn't really be watching it that much, but I decided to tune in for the Grand Finale.

They introduce Dana Robbins, the first contestant to get the boot.

HOLY SHIT, I know that girl. Dana Robbins is the owner and occasional bartender of the best topless sports bar in all of Los Angeles-- The Star Garden, North Hollywood. Not your average "strip club," the Star Garden has always lived up to their civic duties. Recently, all the employees got with their favorite friend's band and threw a Katrina benefit. 8 Bands, one night... Dana's band "Ariel" did a gut pounding original "Anywhere but Here." Throughout the years this bar has thrown numerous benefits with bands over the years both small and large.

So if you are in the neighborhood, C'mon by by. Ask for Big Tony. Buy Shannon a Bud Light. $3 beers at happy hour.

Rock on with your badself, Dana!

By Guest Contributor

Daze Strange

POW! ZAP! CRACK! KAPOW!

Wow.

John Kerry is about to a give a HUGE speech at Brown University.

Here are some excerpts via RAW STORY

Katrina stripped away any image of competence and exposed to all the true heart and nature of this administration. The truth is that for four and a half years, real life choices have been replaced by ideological agenda, substance replaced by spin, governance second place always to politics. Yes, they can run a good campaign -- I can attest to that -- but America needs more than a campaign. If 12 year-old Boy Scouts can be prepared, Americans have a right to expect the same from their 59 year-old President of the United States

For an Administration that wants to teach intelligent design in our schools, maybe they should start by getting a little intelligent design at FEMA.

And amazingly -- or perhaps not given who we're dealing with -- this massive reconstruction project will be overseen not by a team of experienced city planners or developers, but according to the New York Times, by the Chief of Politics in the White House and Republican Party, none other than Karl Rove -- barring of course that he is indicted for "outing" an undercover CIA intelligence officer.


I think along with the nation everyone is just tired of this Bush Crap. The guy refuses to lead until there is some kind of outcry from the people. It's like we have to tell Bush what to do... he can't think for himself. It's also good to see that, unlike other Dem Failed Presidential candidates, this guy is still around and swinging.

Limbaugh Fans

Rush Limbaugh has this new thing. He sells these "Club Gitmo" shirts. Ya know the concentration camp down in Florida and people pose with them in funny places. Hardee Har..

Now let's take a look at your average Limbaugh fan.

Oh I guess I should have said "Stop eating first."

What a bunch of ugly, ugly, people. Not even in the Ramones ugly yet beautiful way.

Now considering they are Limbaugh Fans, Most likely there is no beauty in their hearts either, which usually over comes any kind of physical inaesthicism they may have.

Compare it to the members of the staff Crackpot Press... now WE are beautiful people.

EXAMPLE 1
EXAMPLE 2
EXAMPLE 3

How much more beauty do you want?

Liberal Crap I Never Want to Hear Again.

"Liberal Crap I Never Want to Hear Again"
by Kurt Vonnegut (ho-jacked from the Dialy Show)


Give us this day our daily bread. Oh sure.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those wh trespass against us.Nobody better trespass against me. I'll tell you that.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are the merciful. You mean we can't use torture?
Blessed are the peacemakers. Jane Fonda?
Love your enemies - Arabs?
Ye cannot serve God and Mammon. The hell I can't! Look at the Reverand Pat Robertson. And He is as happy as a pig in s**t.

Holy Shit! Part Maerde!

Excuse my poor French BUT

Kurt Vonnegut has a new book out! It's called "Man Without a Country"

I thought he was dead. He was on The Daily Show tonight with Jon Stewart.

Best quote of the night:

"James, you are important with the right kind of people"

He is exactly the old badass we need right now.

The Freedom Walk

Remember this whole deal? Rumsfeld and lots of other folks were gonna March down the street and Clint Black was gonna sing and it was gonna be rousing? And we'd all get our rocks off together.

Why is it that I can't find one stinking picture of this event? Nothing. Nada. It will be know known as the "Gigli" (not jiggly...that I would go to) of Freedom Marches.

However if you do run the term "Freedom Walk" through the search engine at Fox News.. you do get this piece on John Robert's hanging with Child Molestors!

UPDATE! I found one article talking about the Freedom March...

The guys at Defense.Gov don't let nuthing slip through the cracks. Bunch of Cracker Jack journalists over there. It was also broadcast EXCLUSIVELY on Pentagon TV!

Where was Dick?

More than a handful of folks wondered "Where the Hell is Dick Cheney during that week when the Federal Government was doing a whollotta nuthink ?"

Some speculation has been:

A) He's fishing
B) He's dead/getting his third round of "Trust-T-Heart" implants.
C) He's enjoying a lovel cruise with Jeff Gannon.


All of these were untrue

We have discovered the reason why "Tricky Dick 2: The Boys are Back In Town" wasn't there.
While the people of New Orleans were losing their every possesion, Cheney couldn't get away... he was shopping for a mansion!

Near Old Man Rumsfeld's place.

Holy Shit!

There's a new Madness album out....their first one in like 15 years... It's like running into that fun friend you knew in high school. The guy that who'd say "Ooomba-dooma-dooma" for no reason.

I am one of the weirdo freaks who put Madness in my top 10 bands of all time (like Gwen Stefani)

The other blogger on this site was bred in the redneck coven known as Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Until recently he had never even heard of Madness... but he loves the Greg Allman band... Which is great... kinda of like the Grateful Dead with more of a cheap whisky type odor... rather than just your standard "I'm self important and frying" odor.

Madness rocks, I just got their box set...Sure it's not Coltrane or Black Flag... but damn if it dont make you feel happy. I will buy it the first chance I get.

It's called "The Dangerman: Volume 1"

Blackout Schmackout

Hi Folks...

I flipped on Fox news and most Los Angeles is blacked out. HYSTERIA!

It's no big deal.

Lemme tell you what happened. I was at the Chevy dealership across the street from the Nickelodeon Studios in Burbank getting my car fixed. Nickelodeon is right next door the DWP, city of Burbank. Nickelodeon often gives tours to kids and had just brought a bunch in for a tapiong of something. The try and get them really riled up, screaming andyerlling and so forth.

Then I hear a different kind of scream, what sounded like 1000 machines screaming at the top of their lungs. The entire power plant shuddered and then every street light went out. I had friend from Warner Bros coming to pick me up ... Warner Brothers, Disney everyone's out of business for the day.

I was sent home to my place in Studio City, which while blacked out for an hour or so, has now returned to full power. I understand that Downtown LA is down, the freeways are filling up. My cell phone is out but, who cares.

I went back to my office which out, some people had been trapped in the elevator but they are now free. My office closed, now I am going for a swim and taking a nap!

Some idiots on the news have been comparing this to 9-11 and Katrina. This is, of course, ridiculous.