Monday, May 22, 2006

To Feel Like a Man.

Over the weekend in Santa Barbara, I picked up the local paper. To be fair there was a story about the tournament going and something about Guantamo. But THIS was the lead off story:

Ugly Dog Contest ROCKED by Voting Scandal!

The Santa Barbara Independent requires PAID membership... Fuck that. Here's an equally disturbing blog that has the story.

I didn't have the heart tyo put up the Ugly Dog photo. So here is one of the Cuervo Girls.

Apparantly, there have been people hacking the electronic voting for the Ugly Dog contest in order to fix the winner. Amazing what lengths people will do to win an Ugly Dog contest. Imagine if it was a vote for say.... something important.

This led to series of memorable quotes of the weekend.

It's good to have a guy's weekend. A bunch of mid to late thirties men staying in college town.

Men attempting to cut loose from all the responsibilties of being a man in the year 2006.

It took almost no effort.

Here are some quotes from the weekend (if you don't understand them. that's your problem)

"I need to get back to hotel. I forgot my windbreaker and my watermelon"
"That'll cost eight dollars and beach towel"
"That was a Bukowski fart"
"Don't sweat it. I cut a hole in the mattress"
"Cuervo Girl adjacent"
"Does 'non smoking room' mean bat hits are out?"
"You can tell how old those guys are... look at the women they're with"
"Are you implying I was sodomized last night?"
"You you really should have asked about the ether"
"I need your wristband" and "Buy me a Heineken"
"I'll pay you Sixty Dollars to sleep on the floor" (offer was accepted)
"Can I get some effort here? Can you at least ask my name?"
"The guy from "A Few Dollars More" (on t.v.) is laughing at you" (Editor's Note: He was)
"Peanut Butter Jelly. Peanut Butter Jelly. Umph. Umph. Umph. Umph.

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