Friday, August 11, 2006

Ice on Manhattan

On my way to the AVP Manhattan Beach open, I stopped at Shellback’s Tavern. The Ultra Festive Peanut Butter Jelly People were in one corner noshing on a breakfast of fried what not and vodka shots.

They have added some new gals to the clan and there alterations to the PBJ uniform were indeed a pleasant surprise. Rosie’s Raider’s, ever sullen, were on the other side of the beach front tavern (“a proper bar,” as my friend Greg would say) grumbling profanities about the bartender and sucking down Budweiser’s. All was right for 10:00 on a Friday morning. Even the bartender was wearing wearing a “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” t-shirt.

But all was not right. There has been an ice storm spread over the the jovial sport of Pro-Beach Volleyball. After I down a quick one I ran smack dab into it. There on court two was Rachel Wacholder with new partner Jenn Boss.

Rachel and Elaine Youngs split surprisingly this week. As I mentioned before, it didn’t make sense. Still trying to figure it out. Jolted lesbian fantasies have been on my mind. My girlfriend has set me straight.

She tells me it is a figment of my over-hormoned mind. But what does she know about sports?

Also in attendance was the new coach , who’s name I don’t know.

An older scallywag of a man, he seems like the perfect gentleman to swap stories with at the PoopDeck in Hermosa.

He looks like the veteran pro-beach volleyball player with one good play left in him. Rache and the Boss haven’t quite found their click yet. They won in two tight matches against Logan Tom and Brooke (formerly Niles) Hanson. You may remember Logan from her Olympian FHM Spread.

Prior to the game, I ran directly into Nancy Mason, Elaine Young’s new partner. I apologized and like the ex-boyfriend no one wants to talk to, I sheepishly make my way to a comfortable spot on the beach. Nancy is wearing a Frank’s Red Hot’s Visor. That’s Rachel’s old sponsor. I got cross.

It was then that Nancy and EY start doing drills in the Crocs’ Court.. usually reserved for children. Then the power play-- EY and Mason start drilling in the court right next to the game. Almost as if to say “You want to see skills? WE GOT SKILLS!!” Yes that is the THIN WHITE BEAST behind them.

At this point, I am thinking I am over-imagining everything. Look everyone loves a feud. We all know that it doesn’t make sense to break up that team up at this point in the season.

Rache and the Boss take down Tom/ Niles-Hanson in two. Rache and the Boss go back to their coach area and start talking to him. EY and Mason take the court and this is where the Ice Storm begins. There are no handshakes, there is no eye contact. The scent of Black Licorice is in the air. It might not be what I thought it was, but it smells of fued, the nonsensical type of feud-- Which my girlfriend does know about.

In the coach’s corner there is some conversation, the players dress themselves in sarongs and move to the big board. And Rachel seems alone. I wanted to talk to her, but as a 37 year old man… that would be creepy. At my age and wearing a brace there is a thin line between enthusiastic fan and fucking creepy guy. It was compounded by Liz Masayakan’s (EY/RW coach’s) appearance. Apparently, Liz has taken sides…

On the flip side, the Linquisdt sisters gave EY and Mason a run for there money. I love this sister team. They took them to four or five match points in Game 2. I have a hard time telling them apart so forgive me if I screw up the details.

Nancy Mason bolted a far shot in one of the match points. Katie L. ran KrazEE and dove after it bolting a shot skyward. Her sister Tracy, nearly out -of-bounds and with only one hit to get it over the net plays slugger and jolts the ball off of her wrist (Kirk Gibson style) to get it over the
net. F-ing brilliant. I’ve been saying it for years, these two sisters are DUE!

There was also a turn in fandom. The crown clearly favored the Linquisdt sisters over EY and Mason. AVP fans tend to prefer the underdog. Kerri Walsh was right behind me during the match. Even one of the best players in the game wants to know what’s up. EY and Mason came off as bullies. Even after the sisters lost there was a big hand for the two. For short girls, they play tough. We like that.

So here is the deal. Tomorrow, roughly 8:30 or 9:00 am… Rache and the Boss face off with EY and Mason. Unless there is some kind of weirdo upset, this could possibly be one of the greatest AVP matchups of all time. I know it’s early for Saturday. But show up.

The four of them will.

Update: AW CRAP! They both got knocked down to the losers’s (oh wait CONTENDER’S ) … Everyone is gonna be ultra pissed off in the morn….

It’s time to get your war on!

No comments: