Sunday, June 15, 2008

Hollywood is full of weird folks

So I just moved to spacious one-bedroom in the heart of "Glamorous" Hollywood, Ca.

I like the fact that I am walking distance to grocery stores, farmer's markets, the Chinese Theater and some bars that are somehow still surviving off of the fact that Bukowski drank there. With all the tourist attractions, I am surprised I rarely see a tourist. The locals are far stranger.

In front of the Chinese theater in the last couple of years folks have started to dress in poorly made "Hollywood Icon" costumes in attempt to hustle a few bucks from Iowan rubes.

This kind of sums it up.

If you live in the general LA news cycle.. you already know Elmo is trouble. I once saw him just after midnight in fight with some guy. Elmo was on top of him beating him with his furry red head.

I realize that these folks like to park on my street and hang out before their tribute performances.

The other day Elmo was sitting in his car in full costume sans head. It was resting on the top of his car. Elmo was torching up a spliff.

Another time I came out of my garage to see perfect buttocks leaning into their car in black spandex. If I was 16 I would have gotten wood. The spandex clad beauty flipped back and shook dark brown locks. This is when I realized it was the dude who played Darth Vader.

But today I spotted a tourist on the way to the Fresh and Easy Market. She was mid 40's curly, dirty blond curls and flabby. She was wearing those 2008 New Year's Eve fake glasses. The ones that say 2008 and the 00 are the eyeholes. She was just sitting on the sidewalk fondling one of the embossed stars somewhere between "The Simpsons" and "Emilio Estefan." It is sort of the B-List section of the Walk of Fame. The classics i.e "Gregory Peck" or "Fatty Arbuckle" are Hollywood and Vine. The Big Deals "Tom Cruise" and "Harrison Ford" are Hollywood and Orange, near the Chinese Theater. But La Brea and Hollywood is reserved for B-Lister or folks that will never get any respect.

This woman was sitting there, just sort of hand hugging the embossed star. She was weeping. Not the big tears the news like to show as entertainment. But a small weep with an understanding upside down smile. As I passed by I glanced down at the star to see who this woman was so moved by.

It was Deforest Kelly. I just learned that last week marked the nine year anniversary of his death. God bless the supporting actor.

So I know that it's dorky, but some folks mean a lot to people.

These Hollywood Tribute artists need to raise their game.

Oh and if your are planing to come to LA to see the stars... don't come to Hollywood Blvd.

Check out the Rite Aid and 7-11 on the corner of Vineland and Ventura in Studio City.

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