When Unfunny Comedians Whine

Joe Rogan vs. Carlos Mencia....

New Stuff on the Main Site!

Check it out--

French Maids Who Teach CPR!
STOP! A look at Los Angeles.
Greg offer's his Full Disclosure

and a whole loota other good stuff..

Enjoy..

www.crackpotpress.com

Another Dumb Quiz

But inherently true

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 80% Spider-Man 80% Green Lantern 75% The Flash 65% Catwoman 60% Robin 57% Supergirl 57% Batman 55% Superman 55% Iron Man 50% Wonder Woman 37%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Dave Howard: Center of the Universe

Coupla Dead People this week. I feel extremely fortunate that I saw James Brown live. Sure I saw him do two songs at a taping of the Arsenio Hall Show in 1992 with this NBC page I was trying to sleep with.

I thought it an odd choice that he did "It's A Man's Man's Man's World"...

KICK ASS!!!

I think my over enthusiastic response to the song selection sunk my chances with sleeping with the NBC page.

Last night. I took my Mom and girlfriend to go see Dreamgirls in Rancho Mirage, California along with every nellie in the Palm Springs area.

It's really great to see a flick when it has a home field advantage.

At the same moment I watched Dreamgirls, just down the street, Gerry Ford was gasping his last gasp.

I also saw Gerry Ford live.

Sure he didn't do the leg splits at the Walnut Creek open air mall that is the last reminder of the small town it used to be. The thing I remember, that even though it was a typical 85 degree California fall, he took off his coat.

"This will really upset the Secret Service" Gerry quipped.

That's the only thing I remember about that day.

I do remember having class election later in the year. Everyone wrote Ford/Dole or Carter/Mondale on a slip of paper in crayon and placed in a red or blue coffee can.

The final tally was 8-1 in favor of Ford/Dole.

I voted for Carter.

What can I say? At 8, I was a fan of peanut butter. All right, HUGE FAN. Still am.

There was little bad you can say about Ford. He got a thrown into a REALLY CRAPPY GIG.
He made the best of it.

James Brown got thrown into a Crappy World.

He made the best of it.

OW! heH! Jump back.... kiss myself.

Living in America.

Thoughts on Peter Boyle

About ten- twelve years ago, Jerry Garcia (or maybe his estate) decided to make a line of Grateful Dead Boxer Shorts and Ties. Giles Weaver and I went to the premiere party (or whatever the hell they call it when you start selling undies and neckwear) in this hanger in the Santa Monica Airport.

Great goodie bags. The "Sugar Magnolia" silk boxers didn't hold up to my manliness, but I still have my "Ramblin" tie.

Just about every Los Angeles power hippie was in attendance. Hopper, Nicholson, Alred, Fonda, Beatty. The atmosphere was both festive and (ahem) fragrant.



However, amongst all these power players was Peter Boyle at cocktailing at the bar.

I remember Giles and I surveying the scene and then both seeing him and in unison saying "Holy Shit... Peter Fuckin Boyle is here"

We were both a bit too stoned to actually go up and talk to him and so we just stood near him and went back and forth on "Where the Buffalo Roam" quotes.

In 2001, Trusty DC found himself having dinner with Peter. He was dating somegirlwhodidsomething on "Everyone Loves Raymond," so he went to the Xmas Party and got "assigned" to Peter Boyle's table. Turns out he was a helluva guy.

Made me pissed off we didn't say anything in that hangar.

Some really awful television

I recently heard that there had been a STAR WARS XMAS SPECIAL in 1978. Now as a ten year old this would have been a pretty big deal... yet I have no recollection of this whatsoever.

So good soul has done us the favor of condensing the extremely painful 120 minutes into a merely stinging five minutes.

Enjoy!

Jamie Masada is fucking asshole.

Jamie Masada has banned the word "nigger" from the Laugh Factory at the Sunset Strip.

Think about it.

Crackpot Press Special Guest

On Monday or perhaps Tuesday Crackpot Press will welcome a very special Guest Crackpot..

The world's one and only...

MOJO NIXON!!!

Mojo will be talking to us about his two new shows on Sirius, the Death of Nasville and Barbara Bush's clit.

Hmmm Mojo Nixon talkin politixin... what would be the best name of that show?

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT AND LISTEN

Gem from the Dollar Bin

SUN CITY - ARTISTS UNITED AGAINST APARTHEID

This is the Holy Grail of the Dollar Bin. For years, I have been looking for this on Amazon, E-Bay and troll-lurking used record stores. Shit, finding the image on Google was a bitch. Released in 1986, this was the antidote for the touchy feely “We Are The World.”

In 1985 someone in Sperry topsiders invited me to an Anti-Apatheid Rally in East St. Louis. Being from California, I assumed it was some Cesar Chavez save the farmer’s kind of thing.

Yes, I assumed Apartheid was something our government was spraying on poor farmers.

I was right.

Of course, Apartheid was the repression of the black majority in South Africa.

Unlike ‘We Are the World” there was no gutless music and lyrics (Sorry Quincy) . Rather
than the ultra positive, “We Are the World” that spawned countless self-important
imitiations; Sun City was tough, simple and poignant. Unlike, “We Are The World” it
actually invited artists FROM Africa to participate. Written by Little Steven (for the Old
Folks: the guy with bandanna from the “E-Street Band,” for the young ... he was on the
Sopranos”) the lyrics are straight to the stiletto point.


"We ain’t gonna play Sun City."

In a Reagan world where Rap was a New Ghetto Thang and the Punk had been reduced
to a haircut, the ragtag Run DMC, Lou Reed, Bruce Springsteen, Joey Ramone, Afrika
Bambaattaa, Miles Davis, Pete Townsend, George Clinton and Jimmy Cliff made a united
front. A bunch of guys who, at that time, weren’t even allowed to share the same chart on
the back page of Rolling Stone. A young suburban kid got the message and felt some of
the pain. It was the first time for me that rap meant more than grabbing your dick.

A group protest song that was not something to listen to. It was something to get angry
about.

I tried to impress girls with my sensitivity with “We Are the World”

I needed to get something done when I heard “Sun City”

To this day, it is the only “Mega artist” collaboration that was a part of eliminating the
problem. It raised my awareness. I became a part of it.

I am sure there is still racism, but there is no more apartheid. Farm-Aid is still around.
People are still starving in Africa. AIDS is still available.

Guess that’s why the album is so hard to find.

and it was in the fucking dollar bin.

I just braved the 95 Degrees here in Studio City California to go vote. I just realized a friend of mine from high school is running for my congressional district on the Green Party. Odd because we both went to highschool in St. Louis. So if you are the Mighty 28th district, Vote for Byron Delear and send Howard Berman packing. He's one of "them"

Naturally I wanted to see how my pal was doing, so I check the the local Fox11.com website.

First of all they don't list Green Party Candidates. However more shocking is that FOX has already proclaimed Richard Mountjoy (R) defeating DIANE FEINSTEIN???

Click on the picture of California.

Also John Jones (R) has defeated Mike Thompson (D) in District one

WTF?

Look I think we all know that Fox News has never truly been on the up and up... but this takes the cake... the polls don't even close for 8 and half freaking hours.

I guess FOX news is really done pretending.

Special Guest Crackpot

Hey I was cleaning out the Crackpot Press submissions folder and I ran across this bit that was submitted to me.

Also I rant on Aaron Sorkin and Greg talks about delicate surgery.

Check it out!

Josh Jennings won't touch your kids.

VOTE JENNINGS!

In California? Don't Know how to Vote?

Crackpot Press recommends this site

Go to the Main Site

New Look, new stuff over on the main site...

The Giant Robot Interview
The Return of Daze Strange
Agitating the Sleep
Me, on the Gays
Half Remembered Reviews
The Crappy Gig
The Flight to Brindisi

and a whollatta other crap.

check 'er out

Spelling and Such

I stumbled across this "I Hate Murtha" site.

Why do I half a harde tyme takeng theese folks seriouslee?

Today's Spin

So the moderates shut down the right wing....

Remember the right wing.. they are the opposite of us pot smokin' Benny Hill watchin' masturbating types...


So the moderates, facing Career nihilation... have finally decided to re-define POPULAR!!!!!!

But it is funny what the right wing blogs are running for their news...

Cos... they got nuthin'.. and as Gershwin said.. "Plenty O'" it. Yet I had $12.59 on the 2006 summer temps.... DAMMMIT!!!!
They are obviously trying to alienate us POPEYE fans...



What will they do next?

Texans.

In case you have forgotton, this is what a REAL TEXAN does.



Still can't believe that Texans are still falling for the New England Yankee.

COme to think of it... did Bush ever get diction lessons for that Twang?

Coincidence? I think not...

Hmmm....

I think that mainstream America may be waking up.

First I go over to Media Matters where they have this report . Or if you wanna cheat it's just gauging that since Katie Couric (Delta, Delta, Delta, can I help ya? help ya? help ya?) has taken over at CBS news the right wing guests far out number the left leaning guests.

Then I was checking the Drudge report where they post this little bit on Katie's ratings... going in the toilet.

Coincidence? It looks like CBS is throwing a bone to the right over that whole forged memo thing...

But could it be that the right wing cotton gin is losing some steam?

Are the great undecided.... making a decision to check out the latest syndicated 1/2 hours? A little VOD maybe.. people working later?

Or maybe it's her hair... or maybe people don't yet take cutey Katie seriously

Battle for the Ages

The best Pro Beach Volleyball match of the year.. Once Champion Partners, now bitter enemies.. Rachel Wacholder takes on Elaine YOungs for the first time.

Hey Folks!

So I looked at this and I haven't done anything new in weeks!

I have been working on the new Crackpot Press site

Still healing but I am getting some feeling back in my right hand.

Also I offer up the first piece THE ONION did after 9-11.

It's one of the best pieces of satire writing I have ever read.