What happened?

What happened?

You want shocking, I’ll give you shocking.

Nope has nothing to do with Joe Leiberman, Mel Gibson or even Britney.

One of the greatest sports franchises has split up. The winning combination of Elaine Youngs and Rachel Wacholder have gone splitsville.

There was no reason given for the split. They have done well beating the seemingly unstoppable Kerri Walsh and Misty May twice this year. Elaine Youngs will be matching herself up with Nancy Mason and Rachel will be teaming up with Jen Boss.

The pairings make sense. They are all fierce players. However there is one weird unwritten rule about women’s beach volleyball

See a pattern? One Blonde, One Brunette. I am not aware of any redheads in the sports.
I think it has something to do with skin cancer. There are only three teams I can think of that break this rule.

Even odder is the timing of this split. EY and Rachel vs. Kerri and Misty have been the Yankees and the Red Sox of women’s sports. 9 out of 10 times it is a fantastic matchup. With the Grandaddy of them all, the Manhattan Beach Open this weekend and the next tourney being Boulder (both EY and RW get a lot of support from their hometown crowds) the timing seems weird. There is something suspicious going on here.

There is something going on here. Something more than “we need to do something different”.

And what becomes of their coach Liz Masakayan , perhaps the most talented coach in women’s sports? The three of them together are the most awesome, tenatious Chinese Fighting fish combination I could think of.

No disrespect to Boss and Mason, but these new teams are not gonna click. EY and Rachel I would not sit next to each other at a dinner party. Rachel has speed. EY is is a fierce dominator. As the years have gone one it's obvious they have taken on a lot of each others qualities. On paper they don’t make sense. On the beach, they do.

None of it makes sense. What could have happened?

Manhattan Beach Open!

flashvars="m=999379099&type=video" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
width="430" height="346">
Get this video and more at href="
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=999
379099&n=2">MySpace.com

Spun.

Okay so I don't do Britney news. BUT.



I find it funny that the movie that Britney wants to go see is SPUN. Regardless that this is terrible pretentious look at people who do WAY too much meth. It is shot at the world famous STARGARDEN... which is right down the street from my house. In fact, there are many scenes in this movie that are shot in and around my neighborhood.

So I guess it confirms... Britney is Valley Trash too!

Are you in it?

So... here's the deal...

I posted a certain video of self importance recently (see below). And I got some flack.

They didn't post their comments; they emailed me at crackpot@crackpotpress.com

Hurtful emails.... "I shouldn't take N.O. so lightly"... "Im a bitch" yada yada

Officially, This is the only cause I am for...


RAMONES AID!!!




This and stem cell research.

EXECUTE LEE SALEM

Your crippled crackpot consierge (shit, I hate alliteration it like when a guy makes a you tube video on new superheroes... so easy)

Gives the mic to Giles Weaver.

EXECUTE LEE SALEM

Lee Salem is the President of Universal Press Syndicate. They distribute Ann Coulter’s hateful columns. Mr. Salem wants to preserve his profit margin so badly that he even penned a defense of Coulter in response to a critical article of her at Editor & Publisher (which can be read here: http://www.editorandpublisher.com). So, who is the more disgusting human being: Lee Salem, the man in charge of pimping out her hateful and absurd rhetoric, or the pathetic mean-spirited Ann Coulter herself? I say that both of them are equally responsible for lowering the discourse in this country to venomous and inaccurate attacks on anything and everything. Coulter is the embodiment of the shallow, embarrassing, and futile direction the conservative movement has taken this country, and men like Lee Salem, and their never ending quest to make a buck, enable this treacherous moron to continue to hold up intolerance and idiocy as a virtue. It is impossible to counter people like this with silly things like facts, historical perspective, and common human decency. I wonder if Lee Salem would be defending Coulter if he were the target of her calls for execution? My answer is NO, because in the end, Mr. Salem is the worst kind of coward. Why don’t you ask him?

Lee Salem: letters@editorandpublisher.com

And remember – be as nasty, crude, mean, and brainless as you can. I’m sure he won’t care because that’s how this jackass makes his money. Ask him if he has any 14 year-old daughters that our Marines can “get to know?” Tell him you know where he lives (since the right wing bloggers are posting NY Times writers addresses on the internet and he is their defender I think that’s called ‘”parity”). Ask him if he believes the editors of The Wall Street Journal should be executed as well? Ask him why the government hasn’t filed charges if they’ve done anything illegal, and if they haven’t, why does he let Coulter call for the death of fellow American citizens? Tell him nobody in his family is safe. Let’s see how fast he changes his mind when I crank out one article every single day calling for his immediate and swift death by firing squad.

If anyone out there has any respect for the “mainstream media” anymore, then you don’t even deserve to live here. Ann Coulter and Lee Salem certainly don’t.

Hunka Hunka Hunka steaming

Does this rank as one of the most self important moments ever?

The Old Letterman Show.

A CPP writer recently put David Letterman in one of his RAD PEOPLE of all time piece.

Would Stewart or Colbert welcome this freak....?

The Old Letterman show was something special.

Daddy... why are the Pogues so boring?

Michael Brown in Playboy.

Now as it is with my most jobs. You're boss probably blames you fora lot of stuff that his fault.
And stuff that's your fault as well.

My recent temporary unempl0yment is a testament to that.

So it's fun for the common man to hear Michael Brown say these words in upcoming Playboy.

Via Raw Story:

Still, Brown saves his harshest words for Congressman Taylor, who accused Brown of being disconnected from the realities of the disaster. "For that little twerp to claim I didn't understand death and suffering," Playboy is set to publish, "he can just bite me, for all I care."

And now because I am talking about Playboy, it also give me a shameless opportunity to attract new readers by showing this picture of Pam Anderson and titling it as I like.

Where the hell is Crackpot?

Well the truth is I broke my collarbone a few moths ago and as a diabetic, the road to recovery is long. I will continue to be in a harness/brace thing for a few more months. No, I don't look like Joan Cusack in 16 CANDLES.

Compounding this has been a brutal gig which involves a great deal of typing. With the injury,
this has left me typeless by the end of the day.

However! I quit this gig and am entering the freelance lifestyle! Ah working from home with my own hours.... so CPP Blog will rise again...

And it will be coming soon!

and there is some great new stuff on the main site!

And now... feeling MO betta

You feel better already.

Say what ya want about Michael Jackson.

Don't fuck with the Jackson 5!



You feel better already....

You're welcome.

Progressive in our day

Clerks2 RED BAND TRAILER!

From the American Diabetes Association

"This is a memorable day for Americans with diabetes and other debilitating diseases, and we thank the bipartisan group of Senators who voted to allow scientists to pursue the most promising avenue to find a cure and better treatments for diabetes. Unfortunately, today's sense of hope will be shattered for the 20.8 million American children and adults with diabetes -- and those who love and care for them -- if President Bush vetoes this legislation.

"A veto -- his first ever -- would be a devastating setback for Americans who are affected by diabetes and other debilitating diseases. The President has a responsibility to the 70% of Americans who support embryonic stem cell research. This is a historic opportunity to advance scientific research and it shouldn't be squandered," Smith said.

Diabetes is one of the nation's most prevalent, debilitating and costly diseases. Nearly 21 million American children and adults have diabetes, up from 18 million when the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last measured diabetes prevalence in 2003. If present trends continue, one in three Americans, and one in two minorities, born in 2000 will develop diabetes in their lifetime. The cost of diabetes in the U.S. in 2002 was at least $132 billion.

The American Diabetes Association is the nation's leading voluntary health organization supporting diabetes research, information and advocacy. The Association's advocacy efforts include helping to combat discrimination against people with diabetes; advocating for the increase of federal diabetes research and programs; and improved access to, and quality of, healthcare for people with diabetes. The Association's mission is to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes. Founded in 1940, the Association provides service to hundreds of communities across the country. For more information please call the American Diabetes Association at 1-800-DIABETES (1-800-342-2383) or visit http://www.diabetes.org. Information from both these sources is available in English and Spanish.

How a real tough guy talks.

"I have no fans. You know what I got? Customers. And customers are your friends."

"Those big-shot writers could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than caviar."

(On Mike Hammer) "See, heroes never die. John Wayne isn't dead, Elvis isn't dead. Otherwise you don't have a hero. You can't kill a hero. That's why I never let him get older. "

"Hemingway hated me. I outsell him and he was steamed. One day he wrote a story for Bluebook berating me. So I'm going on a big TV show in Chicago and I don't get it, that's sour grapes... I mean if you can't say something nice about someone why say anything at all? "

"Hemingway hated me. I sold 200 million books, and he didn't. Of course most of mine sold for 25 cents, but still... you look at all this stuff with a grain of salt. "

-Mickey Spillane
1918-2006

Shit.

I wish he had just used it a bit more succinctly.

I quit my mutherfuckin job.

Okay many of you may remember I took another job some four months ago.

It turned out to be a gig that was so Evil Dilbert, that I couldn't even look myself in the mirror at the end of the day.

I had high hopes for this gig. On Monday and Tuesday, things were really clicking. I had my best week since joining up. I was making people money. Then my boss calls me in to give me an hour long ass kicking from 5:45 to 6:45. I don't know what kind of heat he is under, I get that. But don't take it out on me. On my best week. I was going to walk during the "meeting" but I got scared about not having health benefits.

I gave notice on Thursday.

I'm not a pussy. I have had some rough gigs. My resume reads like a who's who of ass kickers.

I worked for Michael Jackson's Publicist, the first time the little boy thing came around. He threw staplers at me. Until I told him he threw like a girl.

I replaced the guy at Columbia who left to write and direct SWIMMING WITH SHARKS.
(Ya know SHUT UP, LISTEN AND LEARN). I worked for one of the guys who the movie is based on. I got to talk to Han Solo daily...

There was one guy I worked for who is a notorious Zen Ass Kicker..Big Producer now.
His hazing was to give you a karate kick to the face... his shoe an inch away from your nose, he wanted to see if you would flinch. Of the ass kickers, I liked him the most.

But nothing like these folks. A grind that would haunt me to midnite every night. Asskicking upon asskicking from a bunch of F-listers.

I am looking into jobs at the library.

I think working at the library would be fun.

T-Shirt Contest!

What the hell is this?

I see this commercial all the time....Winner gets a Crackpot Press T-Shirt!

Winner decided by me.

WHAT THE HELL DOES IT DO? And what happens if you put it on your nipples? I'm curious.

The Fifth of July

Hope everyone had a good ole time on the Fourth. I spent the evening at a small town picnic and fireworks display. I ate these chocolate cookies with red white and blue frosting. While I am diabetic, these particular cookies were labeled as "Patriotic!" so I just did some extra insulin to do my part on fighting the war on terror.

I took out each cookie, one by one.

They had it coming.

Look folks, I know about all this Kim Jon shit has everyone all rattled up, so go on over to the main site (www.crackpotpress.com) for all the facts on Kim Jon.

Short people... they always crack sooner or later.

In any case if you want to see a story about something else, check out this bit about a bear going all Dukes of Hazzard on the Fourth of July.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2154221

-Dave

Ah, to Condescend in June.

The worst kind of Photo OP.

The first thing that sprung to my head were the words that ended every "X-Files" episode.

"I MADE THIS!"

Correction!

Why is it when I post a video, I can never edit the entry...

Hat tip to: The Humanity Critic

And now some words from Mark Cuban.

I like Mark Cuban.

Mark is one of the few Pro Owners where passion drives his life.
I

He wrote this piece which is some great thought regardless if you are a millionaire or have been looking for that place in life where you fit.

Check it out.

This is not a Video Blog

But with the broken collar bone, I found a great new thing. When you are diabetic... it takes twice as long to heal.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA on me.

So writing time is limited. But here is an interview George Bush would never do...

Ladies and Gentleman---

Al Gore meets MOS DEF!


Get this video and more at MySpace.com


Hat tip to: The Humanity Critic

Hope is Emo.

The worst kind of Bigotry

I was furious when I saw this.

Is there anyone else out there who has faced this kind of discrimination?

Feel free to email me at crackpot@crackpotpress.com

Don't hate because I'm beautiful.

-CP

New Stuff on the Main Site

Check it out.

Jesus is my Clean Up Man.

For those of you left wing crackpots who "tune out when I talk about sports," (ahem, Helen Wheels) stick with it, I'm going somewhere with this.

One of the reasons it took so long for the Red Sox to win the World Championship is not just because of the "The Curse" but because of Boston's terrible record on integrating the sport. As with the Celtics, Boston was a decade behind on enlisting people of color into their ranks. When they did win, ironically, they won with the Bible Thumper Curt Schilling leading the charge.

Now I am not gonna go into "people of color are better players" thing. Statistically if you limit your team to a small pond of talent, when everyone else gets to chose from an ocean-- you are limiting the talent available to you. It's bad team management. You want to choose from the biggest pool of talent out there.

Now the Colorado Rockies are going public with their preference of "selecting players who have accepted Jesus Christ as their saviour." These people are prefered on the home team of Adolph Coors Field.

This can't be completely philosophical. There is only one NCAA College Football team with a major network deal. Every week, millions tune in to watch Notre Dame. Could it be that Colorado is phishing for the same thing? Ticket sales and beer aren't enough to sustain a franchise. Especially a small market team like the Rockies.

In any case here are some folks that wouldn't cut it at Adolph Coors Field. I start with the Future Hall of Famers.





































Helen, the two unlabled ones are Sandy Koufax and Hank Greenberg. I HIGHLY recommend the documentary "The Life and Times of Hank Greenburg." As a Jew playing in the times he did, little is known about him.

He was a hell of a ball player.

Oh, and there is Billy Beane

Crackpot Press Voting Guide

I have done my research as this election in California approaches.

In fact, my friend and fellow lefty Kate, has her own thoughts on it.

It's a great piece on the "amount of friends" each of the folks on their myspace pages. I am on the other side of the spectrum as far as endorsements go.

The radio ads for all the candidates, as can be expected, are going more
negative as the election approaches. FOr the first time, Dems are getting called on for being Bush/Enron lapdogs.

I think all of these candidates have some great experience. I think they are all pretty qualified.

However, there are a few things that are sticking in my craw.

Once you get to the big game, you got nothing. You need creative out of the box thinking.

So the Crackpot Press is endorsing STEVE WESTLEY for governor. I really like the fact that he is a big environmetalist and that he was one of the reasons E-Bay has done so well. E-Bay could have failed as easily as Pets.com and E-Toys. Sure he tooks some kickbacks from Barnes and Noble. Phil Angelides did nothing about Enron. This former treasurer just watched as California saw billions escape. I think Phil Angelides returns us to a Gray Davis mentaility. I don't think there should have been a recall election. But Gray Davis was one of the worst governors California has had... I'm not sure if he was worse than Pete Wilson. Also of all the candidates, Westley inspires me... actually makes me feel like California could move forward. Innovative thinking is refreshing.

I am also supporting Jon Garamendi over Jackie Speier. Again Jackie is an Enron Democrat and it is time for California to rid of ALL of those folks. This is a vote against Jackie Speier.

I realize that I am breaking all ranks with Babs and Di on this, but they are looking out for their best interests.

And here in Studio City, I am voting against Rep. Berman.. why? He votes with the Republicans on most War related issues. I am endorsing Chuck Coleman. Here is some more info on him here

Also, like most Congressmen, Berman hasn't done anything that I am aware of on the gas price front,the war and also let Enron walk all over the State of California.

I think everyone agrees the Democratic Party needs some new blood... this is my solution.

Ooof!

I am sorry, but this is totally hot.

Win a Free Dinner at the Olive Garden.

I got a banner that said "Win a Free Dinner at the Olive Garden!"

Then you click on a "Yes" or "No" Question..

"Is Bush a Good leader?" This is usually an easy answer.

Then thoughts start swirling....

Okay... "Free Dinner" is a good thing..Olive Garden or not

I've never been to the Olive Garden. Is it any good? What market are they plying to answer the question?

Olive Garden (according to "Old School") is a fabulous meal. Married couples love it... they clean up after the kids... Priceless.

I'm not quite a married couple, yet not quite a single man.. How important is the free meal...

CPG has been out of town for quite some time now.

Fabulous meal I don't have to make... I have a broken collarbone. I have been living off of things you don't have to "lift"or "spread"... Goddammit I WANT MY FREE FABULOUS MEAL!!!

Family resturant... I want to say yes. "Yes" will get me the free fabulous meal.

It is a moment of selling out.

I finally click on "YES"

YES DAMMIT!!!!

Yes Bush is is good leader!!!!

But then I have to go through all these steps and refer friends and realize...

I'm tired...

I should have just clicked no.

More Stouffer's for me.

Aw Crap! Now with Razzle Dazzle!

The other day a bunch of us were sitting around talking about how Broadway/Theater Snobs should really just eat a large bowl of "shut the fuck up."

Their Superiorness ("Oh Hollywood, is making another sequel again"); their
love of their "real art".

We sat around trying to think of a recent "new project" that Broadway has put out. Sure "The Black Ryder" looks interesting, but guess what? Broadway has also put out the Umpeeth "Limited Last Tour" of "Les Mis."

It's a quick buck... they paid for the sets and the costumes already, so let's do it again.
Yes, the intellectual snobs are driven by money as well. And they charge $150 a pop.

With the exception of "Wicked," all we could think of were the Remakes of "Sweeney Todd" and "Hairspray" and "The Producers." Mostly, MOVIE remakes.

And now these snobs have made a musical based on a FUCKING ADAM SANDLER MOVIE.

Gershwin, Porter, Even the guy that made RENT... they are all turning are turning in their fricking graves...

If you are gonna be a snob... back it up!

Kommando's Project in full swing

Check out some great weekend pictures of the Kommando Project.

Storming L.A.

The Crackpot Press Corps tackled Erhwan's Health Food Store; Then "The Grove." the Farmer's Market, the Whisper Lounge, a Starbucks and a Mobil Station, the mailboxes at my apartment complex on Saturday. But alas there was no camera...

Today, there are some more to be added... with pictures... it's a little "Where's Waldo?" but the Crackpot Press Corp is on duty! Not pictured was a deployment of a radio commander in the Toby Keith Section of Ameoba Records.


One infantry man had a terrible assignment... the rocks are out a fouintain just around the corner from this movie theater. Sgt. Camo is hiding in the red circle

















This next bit is me being Ironic.

















And the first rule of war? Take the Media Centers!

HYollywood Spreads Major MisInformation on Diabetes

So tonight I am preparing the Crackpot Press Corp,

I figure I will rent a flick to pass the time while I work on my Army Men. It's been a rough week at work, so I need something without preaching, something brain dead, something not too stimulating.

I like Jennifer Aninston, I want her to be much better than she really is. I think she is fun.

So I get DERAILED, which so far (I've only watched about a half hour) is a a thriller about a guy who has it all except his daughter is diabetic and it's tearing his family apart. They buy a machine to watch her condition. He faxes a bood glucose report to the doctors.

As a type-1 diabetic, I know much more about the subject matter than the average screenwriter. These guys are over-hyping idiots. I have girlfriend and a mother, who don't quite "get" the disease. While it's scary for them, it's NOTHING like what is depicted in this flick.

It's one-a those things you will never get till you have it.

And yet, the fat bastards at Miramax (who will know diabetes sooner or later) put out all this fake crap about diabetes.

#1 Clive Owen (who?) faxes a Blood Glucose Report to the doctor's. I freeze framed the report , numbers are low. Regularly in the 70's. We are shooting for a hundred here. Even the stupidest doctor would be able to see she is over-medicated. Reduce her morning shot by five to units, depending on daily activity, should do the trick.

#2 Clive Owens talks about her having Type-1 Diabetes: THE WORST KIND. There are only two kinds of diabetes. Not 300 . Don't get uber dramatic.

#3 Clive Owens mentions three kidney transplants. "Her body rejected them all" While the kidneys can eventually be damaged, The failure of the PANCREAS is what causes diabtetes.

#4 There is a scene where the daughter goes into a seizure, which can happen if your blood sugar gets too low. So they give her a shot of what looks like insulin. WRONG! That would kill a diabetic. What she needs is a coke. CPG has noticed me shaking in the middle of the night and has brought me juice. That works. She isn't a someone who has lived with it for a long time. She is just sensible.

This is a movie about fright. About scaring folks. While diabetes is no picnic, it can be managed. Not since Birth Of Nation, has one flick produced so much misinformation.

Will these people just shut up and do what they get paid to do?

Which would be "getting nekkid"

To Feel Like a Man.

Over the weekend in Santa Barbara, I picked up the local paper. To be fair there was a story about the tournament going and something about Guantamo. But THIS was the lead off story:

Ugly Dog Contest ROCKED by Voting Scandal!

The Santa Barbara Independent requires PAID membership... Fuck that. Here's an equally disturbing blog that has the story.

I didn't have the heart tyo put up the Ugly Dog photo. So here is one of the Cuervo Girls.



Apparantly, there have been people hacking the electronic voting for the Ugly Dog contest in order to fix the winner. Amazing what lengths people will do to win an Ugly Dog contest. Imagine if it was a vote for say.... something important.

This led to series of memorable quotes of the weekend.

It's good to have a guy's weekend. A bunch of mid to late thirties men staying in college town.

Men attempting to cut loose from all the responsibilties of being a man in the year 2006.

It took almost no effort.

Here are some quotes from the weekend (if you don't understand them. that's your problem)

"I need to get back to hotel. I forgot my windbreaker and my watermelon"
"That'll cost eight dollars and beach towel"
"That was a Bukowski fart"
"Don't sweat it. I cut a hole in the mattress"
"Cuervo Girl adjacent"
"Does 'non smoking room' mean bat hits are out?"
"You can tell how old those guys are... look at the women they're with"
"Are you implying I was sodomized last night?"
"You you really should have asked about the ether"
"I need your wristband" and "Buy me a Heineken"
"I'll pay you Sixty Dollars to sleep on the floor" (offer was accepted)
"Can I get some effort here? Can you at least ask my name?"
"The guy from "A Few Dollars More" (on t.v.) is laughing at you" (Editor's Note: He was)
"Peanut Butter Jelly. Peanut Butter Jelly. Umph. Umph. Umph. Umph.

A last note.

The whole AVP event went really well. Leading up the event I wondered if there was a way I could make some cash off of this. Get a better gig? Make some cash? Do it regularly?

Doesn't matter.. we pulled it off and I got to spend some great quality time with the boys... which I just don't get to do often enough. Life gets busy. Everyone I know is on pretty much on a 24-7 work cycle all the time. They have their job and then we have life.

Anyways you can check out the whole shebang here

Off to the Beach!

Crackpot Press is off to the beach to cover the AVP tournament .

We will be live from our other site BLOG AVP

Check it out.

Join Kvatch's Kommandos!

I know this blog has been a little slow. Between the new drag of a job, a broken collarbone (at least four more weeks in the sliung) and preparing for the AVP this weekend . I've been a little hectic.

However Kvatch is pumpin on all cylinder's. As you know, I am not a big fan of protests. However, this one I think will make a good impact and not tie up traffic.

I got this letter from him.

May 26th will be Blognonymous' one year anniversary (that's about 12 in frog years), and instead of the usual "blogerversary" post, I want to do something bigger. So I'm hoping that you will prepare your troops and join me for a day of protest. Let's inundate our towns, our cities, streets, shops, and stores, malls and markets, museums and monuments, parks and piers, cars and cabs. Let's make this into a movement that will get noticed.

I've done a post on this here, and will do additional posts on Tuesday and Friday of next week with the rundown of the commanders. So...if you're in please let me know and feel free to redistribute this message to anyone who you think might be interested. Also...If you'd like information on the ins and outs of buying, making, and deploying these little guys, please let me know, and I'll help in any way that I can.

Hope that you'll join me on the 26th. (Or the 27th, if a Friday is too tricky ;-). I'll probably do both.)

Win Stuff.

If you click on the Volleyball Banners, you can win free stuff!

Check it out!

No I haven't sold out.., I am in it for the glory...

Priceless, Priceless glory.

Take the Quiz.

Be honest... no cheating.

Can you sing the "Star Spangled Banner?" (via C&L)

Do you know all the words?

If you sing it like a regular person it only takes a few minutes, none of that Patti Labelle half an hour version.

So the next time a politician starts waving the flag in your face... you know what question to ask.

Or you can just sing "I Left My Heart in San Francisco"

(You have to click on the quick time icon)

In Perspective

George Bush reflects on the happiest moment of his presidency.

Even he believes in his own failures.

Welcome to Tempe

This weekend makes the seconmd stop of the AVP tour, the Tempe Open. Now, obviously Seeds 1 and 2 (Kerri Walsh/ Misti May and Rachel Wacholder and Elaine Youngs) are expected to do well.

But with any good tournament there are two teams that could really do some damage. Watch the #3 and the #6.

Annett Davis and

Jenny Johnson Jordan

and

Semirames Marins

Tatiana Minello

Marins and Minello don't play every tournament as they come outta Brazil and always manager to wax up the works. The other two, Davis and Jordan (daughter of Olympic Gold Medalist Rafer Johnson) have always had their eyes on knocking off May and Walsh and they can definitely pull it off. They were both pregnant and out last season. But now they are back.

This does not bode for either the Gold Medalists or RW/EY. May/Walsh have been strong against them in the past, but unlike 2004 they are now beatable and I think they are the ones to get the big chore done.

Check it out on Fox Sports Net over the weekend (or next weekend depending on which state you're in)

Encyclopedia Brown Knows the Answer!

Can you solve the case?

So a bunch of jagovs at the Discovery Channel all got together.. and realized they still couldn't get a date. So they decided to pick on someone else... someone who couldn't beat them up.. like King Tut.

Well it is bad enough that this guys carcass has been hauled around the world a couple of times like he was all Reagan or something...

But they actually needed an CT machine to find his 3300 year old wazamazoo.

Apparantly, King Tut was MORE funky than his monkey.

And I feel like the most hung guy on the planet.

Way to go Discovery Channel !!

Welcome to the Party Colbert!

Drudge Comes out with a low humming fart about Stephen Colbert.

Aslo the Buffalo Beast is running this Bit on the Washington Post Op-Ed writer... Scott McClellan.

Wonkette Gets a Softie

We all know we gotta make a buck one way or another.

However, Ana Marie Cox has completely sold out. Sure, who can turn down a gig writing for Time Magazine? It's a big deal. I can't blame her. Good for her.

But at what cost?

So now she has to crown Drudge one of Time Magazine's Most Influential by writing his bio.

The years these two have spent slingin mud at each other has been one of the great early blog rivalries... and now... Drudge has won.

Hope you got a slew of gift baskets from the Drudge Report Staff.

Welcome to the Big Leagues Ana Marie... we will miss you.



No

Tony Snow vs. the Humanity Critic

One of my favorite Blogs is the Humanity Critic. While mostly dedicated to R&B and hip hop.. here is a recent post he did on TONY SNOW.

Nice work HC!

Enjoy!

United 93

I don't want to spoil too much, but this is fantastic flick.

I have always had a strange connection emotionally to Flight 93. Mostly because Todd Beamer ("Let's Roll!") was about my age and had lived in the suburb next to mine.

I had friends who escaped the WTC that day, but Beamer, a guy I have never met, really has stuck with me.

Shot in an underplayed, non-glamorous, grainy documentary fashion (in fact, most characters aren't even given a name or a history) this flick is not about Hollywooding the events of 9-11.

I felt like I was on this plane. It was a rare, honest cinematic experience. In fact, I was so sucked in that I didn't even realize that former client of mine played Todd Beamer (David Alan Basche). He was someone I used to talk to daily, in fact when I gave up on Hollywood and moved to San Francisco he gave me a set of "Stork Club" fridge magnets, that are still up.

Often in flicks when the clock is ticking, there is a speech of some sort. I was waiting for a monologue of the now famous phone call to Beamer's wife ending with the heroic statement "Let's ROLL!"

This is not what happens. In times of crisis, there is no time for dramatics. You act.
The famous line glamourized by our President (who didn't realize the immediacy of the situation) is barely audible. It was simply nearly real time telling of people in crisis.

While, the president and vice-president are referred to only once... their actions of that day kept cycling through my head.

I remember looking at the TV at 7:30 pm PST that evening and wondering where the hell he was.

He was hiding.

Our president is our leader, he is supposed to be the best of the bunch. When a bunch of "average Americans" can show greater courage in a crisis, there is a problem.

Our president was a coward that day. The Americans stood up.

United 93 pays the respect to those who deserve it.

The New Howard Beale?

Okay here is one pissed off cat from Brooklyn.


I also understand he can get you tickets for stuff.

I cant even spell Clavicle

I broke my clavicle or collar bone. I am now the one armed blogger for a while.


I was fighting CPG on going to the hospital... The ER moves slowly at midnight on friday...Im tired and in pain and just want to home.

She looks me in the eye and says defiantly "No! I AM THE DECIDER!!!!"


and you really just can't argue with that.

Gold Medalist Kerri Walsh has been kind enough to do a re-anactment of how I how I broke it.

http://www.crackpotpress.com/mt/2006/04/last_years_funniest_bit_at_the.html

Just imagine the sand is concrete and a wrought iron table.

Im not one to start a blog war BUT!

There is no love for the Crackpot Press.

My service provider (Netfirms) has really pissed me off. They have selected "Anna in San Francisco" as their Site of the week. Usually they have a lot folks who are more talented than me showing off whatever hot sauce they are pitching.

But no... now they have this travel blog "Anna in San Francisco" which is pure crap!

First of all, she shows all the CRAPPY places to visit in San Francisco... and her Chow Chow is most likely crappin Chow Chow dog crap all over it. She shows Fort Mason, where I went to once for a wine tasting and Coit Tower and lo and behold NOT ONE TENDERLOIN DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT!!! No Willie Mays hotlink to be found!

Give that fire on a bun to poochie!

There is nothing interesting or fun about this site. She makes San Francisco look TOTALLY .. well... er GAY!

If you want cool things to do in the city... check out this TRAVELOGUE OF BERKELY.

Or I am just a bitter, jealous man.

Scotty Surrenders.

Ever have a frustrating job where you get you kicked in the nads every single day and not one fricking ounce of gratitude?

C-YA Sucker!

In honor of this day , I give you SCOTT MCCLELLAN'S GREATEST HIT!

Join Bill O'Reilly.

Yes, I really mean it. I have only agreed with Bill O'Reilly on one previous issue (Making Jessica's Law national) and it shocked me when something I strongly believe in was mentioned

The incredulous has happened. Bill O'Reilly has said what the President will not say.

On Fox!

OIL COMPANIES ARE GOUGING US.

Some folks say a free market enterprise is what built America. Oil Companies should be able to charge what they want. Well, not if it means handing all my cash over to someone who gets a $400 million bonus for gouging the American People. Another right wing argument is that the Environmentalists have shut down the Oil Company's ability to refine the oil properly. It's possible, but then the oil companies should just have to figure out a way to do it.

He also showed a clip of Bush saying that he's "looking in to it." We all know what that means.

We also all know that there is little we can do as far as a boycott of the oil industry. But could we pick just one and boycott them? Exxon has been a thorn in the side of the liberal community for quite some time. So why not pick on them? I wonder what Bill O'Reilly thinks of this idea.



Holy shit! Bill says "Boycott Exxon!!"


So I sincerely ask everyone to Join Bill and "Boycott Exxon"

- an Exxon Stockholder (as of this moment)

P.S. So I guess the real question here is who is getting soft? Me... or Bill?

My Politics.

Some people have noticed a a departure from politics on my blog. This is a temporary phase and soon the langoriesque geniuos of my fertile political mind will drip, ah, but once again.

However, here is a fun car game for the kids. Most think of California as a Blue State, however during my lifetime we have had FAR MORE REPUBLICAN GOVERNORS. Reagan, Duekmajin, Wilson, Arnold, etc. Cali flips and flops and kind is really a true sends a mixed message to folks. I think it's healthy. In fact, I think Gray Davis was a hack. Never inspired me once. He was a B-side.

On the car game. Hop into the car with some of your best buddies (oh and the kids, if need be) in Berkeley or Hollywood. Then drive somewhere; Modesto, Santa Barbara, Bakersfield, Newport... wherever..

It's better during an election year. But it's amazing on the drive as the Blue (and Green) bymper stickers turn into red.

There are a lot of people that don't live in your hometown.

BEACH BLOGGIN BINGO

So the gang at Crackpot Press has been invited down to blog live from the Booth for the Santa Barbara Open May 20th 1:00 PST. More details to follow as most of you will forget. Giles Weaver has packed up his best blue bannana hammock and is going for a wax. We even have a new site (still under construction)

Me-- Just doing a few sit ups and laying off the Fritos. We'll be doin some insta videos (in HD), some pictures and bringing the the top journalistic standard along with our classic blend of poor spelling and grammar... Stuff you can't see anywhere else

Fortunately the we will be exactly 100 feet away from the playing area, which will appease Ms. Rachel Wacholder's restraining order.

Way to go, Giles.

An Easter Story

Amazing how God told this guy to chicken out.

Not enough lions...

Texas Vs. California

This post was inspired by Helen Wheels.

So I went and fell in love with Texas Girl.

UPDATE: I got my ass kicked first thing this morning by the forementioned Texas Girl for claiming that the Bush's were from Texas. They are from New England.

The California Texas rivalry is a dangerous thing. First of all California gave you Reagan and Nixon, Texas gave you the Bushes. So California has the edge on nicompoops (no shocker) that score is 15 to 10.

California has more Super Bowl Rings than Texas. California has more World Series Rings. Texas has no World Series rings.

Yet... the Cowboys get more airtime on Monday Night Football.

California has a bay. Texas has a Gulf.

Texas gets you to the stadium. My dad used to have a Chevron station on the way to the Oakland Stadium. Matuzak used to fill up there.

We ARE even on Kennedy assasinations.

Texas has Chaw. California has grass.

California has proud Homosexuals. Texas has Rodeo Clowns.

Texas has BBQ. California has lobster.

Texas has hot humid summers that get in your craw. California has sun that scramble your brains.

Texas has Lyle Lovett. California has Chris Isaak. And the Grateful Dead. And the Doors. And the Counting Crows.

California has porn. Texas has swingers.

Texas has Haliburton. California has Sun Microsystems-- Who would be corrupt if they would can the attitude and grow a pair.

Texas has cheerleaders and wide open spaces. California has crowded freeways and that slut at the Starbucks.

Texas has twang. California has "whatever'

Texas has hot sauce. California has a store at the Farmer's Market that sells it.

California invented the Rose Bowl. Texas won it.

People live in Texas. People move to California.

Texans have spurs. Californians have nipple rings.

California has Jerry Rice. Texas has Troy Aikman.. who went to UCLA.

Love is a funky ass fate.

The UTA joblist is gonna get HUGE!

Man, that poor Mike Ovitz just can't get a break.

Guess this all makes up foir the millions he got for trying to drive a company into the ground.

The Plimpton Project

The good news of the day is that the Plimpton Project site was just
nominated for a Webby. Excellent stuff, go to the site when you get a
chance and vote. It's going to be tough and possibly impossible, because
we're up against Deadheads and Harry Potter fanatics, but we're giving it
a shot.

http://webbyawards.com/webbys/current.php?season=10

We're in the "celebrity/fan" section.

and if you DO feel like votin',

http://peoplesvoice.webbyawards.com/login.mhtml

early and often.

Onwards.

Crackpot Press is not affiliated with the Plimpton Project, in fact I didn't even write the above. But we really like it.

Fuck with my politics. Don't Fuck with My Baseball

I have often joked with CPG and Flysh

"Man... that A-rod..worth every penny."

He choked at 2 for 16 in the last post season. You could pay me millions to suck that bad. You could pay me 20 bucks to suck this bad.

here's a guy who sucks more than A-Rod. Yorick with a mitt. Yorick was no friend of mine.

Probably a New England Texan talked him into it, who also claims he can fly a plane.

and we pay him every two weeks.

This article doesn't mention that it "bounced" before it got to home plate.

Don't fuck with my paycheck and throw like a girl.

Earn my check.

Two women facing their own mor-tail-ity.

I stumbled across this My Space Blog. You may need a password, so email me at crackpot@crackpotpress.com if you need one. My time is limited these days so I will get back to you when I can.

I think it's supposed to be a celebration of life type thing.

Now as someone who is beyond their club hopping years, their honky tonking and tomkatting years (occasionaly I pretend I am still hip... and end up in bed before 10:45) these two hit me as an interesting photo essay of the tragedy of the "fabulous" single woman.

These are two attractive women, who can't find a man in an LA bar. At least one who will dance with them and have their picture taken. They look great. Obviously their choice of beverage (Long Island Iced Tea in a quart bottle) and locale (the Saddle Ranch on Sunset) show a certain immorality that all men drinking at the Saddle Ranch could appreciate from women dressed in Sunset Savoir Faire. LA is no place to be 23. The next ten years go very fast.

So why are these Sherman Oakers alone?

Must be the Sherman Oaks part.

The new entry

is here

Wow.

I got to go to something very cool last night.

The WGA put together their list of 101 Best Screenplays and had an event to announce it.

I met CPG (who was looking stunning) in front of the Beverly Hills Union and walked down the short red carpet. The problem with writers is that few of us know what they look like. Sure their pictures maybe be on the HuffPo from time to time. For the most part we don't know what they look like. Harry Shearer hosted and at the cocktail and app reception, I was looking around for familiar faces from my past career and saw none. Until CPG asked for a Kir Royale at the bar and over her the left shoulder of her cocktail dress was "The Man."

Not "The Man" because he is a great writer. He wrote several great screenplays that most forget he was the writer. HE got slammed for his writing later in life, but still gives every Gen-X male pause.

George Lucas was four feet away. Then CPG grabs my arm and geeks out a bit later. It's BUCK HENRY! Another "first" great writer and influence of my childhood. One 10 year old kid had never ridden his bike so fast to get home to watch "Get Smart." I am not a big fan of self-congratulatory "lists" For my money, my lists are just as good as anyone else's. But with a few exceptions this one one mirrored my own tastes.. For example "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" made the top ten. Go to your library, used bookstore or E-Bay and I am sure
you can find the screenplay and of all the screenplays ever written, it follows the writer to the most minute detail. Sure the movie is driven on the charisma of the two lead actors, but there is NO Ad-Libbing.

I gotta go cook the hardest working woman in show business, CPG, dinner... more on this later.

California Dreaming

"All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray"

Ah, the lament of those who don't live in California. That opening lyric makes me feel like I am alone peering through an Joliet window, cutting up my cell mate for firewood.

BUT yesterday , the leaves were brown and the sky was gray, here in the City of Angels. I was in the middle of that upward razor climb of the being the new guy at work. And yes, what a climb it is.

But today was actually a pretty good day. I manage to only put in Nine and half hours.
London Broil (currently basted and on the Forman Grill), Avocados and tomatos were all on sale at the grocery store and "The Amazing Race" is on at a special time tonight 8:00. (God Bless my five minute commute!!)

Regardless that CPG is off working her ass off (GO! Baby! GO!) towards her yearly monster event I am in a pretty good mood. But I will see her for a fun gussyupp thing at the WGA tomorrow night. Maybe even some "groovy"

And then I open my mailbox (no bills...excellent!) and I have "it"

My b-list girlfriend.. delivered to my home. The NEW DIG MAGAZINE is here with some of the best photography (and yes, reading) of any sports Magazine. Dig is also a smart zine as they don't spill their best stuff (or really ANY stuff) on their website. Subscribe!!! Do as I say!!

Yah get a free hat.. beats giving your cash to PBS

AH as Dig's Motto reads.

Beach. Volleyball. Life.

It's a good Wednesday night.

Oh and the "Mantra of the Week" comes from the above-mentioned CPG. I personally think Katie Couric is too cutesy for the evening news.

CPG SAYS:

"Katie Couric is gonna hosting evening news? But.. she's a Tri-Delt!"

Be more than a pretty face. Back it up.

All the leaves are green and the sky is blue.

Ha-Ha !

So I guess the big question now is "Has Tom Delay put the 'DailyDelay' out of business?

Whadda an asshole!

Cosnidering the new gig is taking up quite a bit of time for now... it's nice the the Wapo will write stuff for me. Put in the meantime there is STUFF UP ON THE MAIN SITE!

And in that whadda kiss ass department.. John Boehner

"Simply put, Tom is one of the most effective and gifted leaders the Republican Party has ever known. He was a tireless advocate for his constituents, the state of Texas and all Americans who shared a commitment to the principles of smaller government, more freedom and family values," said Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, who succeeded DeLay as majority leader.

"The country owes Tom a great debt of gratitude for helping lead America in a new direction — a direction outlined in the Contract with America that saw balanced budgets, historic welfare reforms, lower taxes, regulatory relief and a renewed respect for the sanctity of life," Boehner said.

Oh here is Delay's election night statement. It was the LAST POST EVER ON HIS SITE.

My guess is you haven't had much to say since you were elected.

Houston, he don't think much of you either.

I have always placed my faith in the voters, and today's vote shows they have placed their full faith in me. This race was about who can effectively represent the values and the priorities of the people in this district, and I'm proud to have earned, and overwhelmingly kept, that trust among Republican voters. Not only did they reject the politics of personal destruction, but they strongly rejected the candidates who used those Democrat tactics as their platform. "Our volunteers and grassroots activists are just incredible and they worked diligently in neighborhoods around this district. I'm honored to have them stand with me as we prepare to defend this district from the funding and activism of America's most radical Democrats."

Jill Hits back.

A statement regarding the claims of the right wing nutjob media.

Again.. kicked out the good hair club for men.

Below, please see my post on Jill Carroll.

Apparantly I did something very, very bad at Hannity.com. They have blocked my ISP. It wasn't promotionally posting I just wanted folks to hear the WHOLE Story. And Hannity is such a sham, look at the banner ad.

Jill Carroll: What is "well"?

This post was inspired by fuzzyandblue.

I am shocked that the media has pounced on and twisted Jill Carroll's words "I was treated Well"

What is the definition of "I was treated well" when being taken hostage?
She had a shower, toilet and food.

This is a woman who lives with Iraqi's which is a whole different world. But she understands and speaks the language and embraces the lifestyle.

On average 10 people a day are taken hostage in Iraq. She knows what happens to hostages.

If she was treated better than the average contestant on "Survivor" she's more than breaking even.

In a world of $35 dollar haircuts for men and $100 a month cable bills, perhaps we have lost touch. Maybe we have forgotten what "well" means.

Maybe these people have relatives who know where her folks live.

Most Americans "don't get" the culture of Iraq. I don't. I don't "get" the culture of Beverly Hills (I live nearby) either. We haven't been there, we don't know. Is it possible that Jill Caroll, who has emersed herself in the culture of Iraq, needs to choose her words carefully?

She was treated well. Compare it to Nick Berg. Compare it to Todd Beemer. What is "well"?

In any case, Jill has gone through a test that none of us could even imagine.

And for that she is a heroic figure. We should all wish that we could keep it together under those circumstances. To go through what she has gone through takes an amazing amount of fortitude.

But to demonize her is just wrong.

Here are some intial thoughts I had on her.

http://www.crackpotpress.com/html/jill_carroll.html

I hope that we all step up when it is time to step up.

Be well,

CP

Where are you based?

I am looking for bloggers big and small that live in or around these cities.

Also, if you know of a blog based in one of these cities, let me know.

Santa Barbara

Huntington Beach

Hermosa Beach

Sacramento

Seaside Heights

Atlanta

Birmingham-Hoover

Cincinatti

Manhattan Beach

Brooklyn

Boulder

Las Vegas

Lake Tahoe

WELCOME HOME JILL!

Jill Carroll has been released!!

According to Anderson Cooper on Thursday's Broadcast, on average, ten people are taken hostage in Iraq daily.

Hollywood Momentum

Check out Hollywood Momentum

I am this week's feature story..reflecting on my days as a not so hot shot assistant in Hollywood.

Thanks KAREN!

Sham-ful

Short on time, so here my bit for the day.

I know you come here for HARDCORE GANGBANG news and AMATEUR op-ed pieces. But like all bloggers (and apparantly CNN) I always enjoy a little extra attention.

So here is a shameless SPRING BREAK story about a WILD non COLLEGE GIRL that may generate some higher ratings.

Yes it's a sham, but for those of you who want to read about

the NAKED BRITNEY SPEARS statue...

It could also be refered to as the NUDE BRITNEY SPEARS statue.

or BRITNEY SPEARS SEX TAPE if it was SEX TAPE rather than a statue.

There are no pictures of the NAKED BRITNEY SPEARS statue in this article. Oh and the statue is an "idealization" of her giving birth.

FUCKING gross.

Beat that Drudge!

I just want to be friends

Well it looks like Bush FINALLY fired someone.

But Andrew Card? Except for Bush himself he probably has the least amount of descision making ability in the White House.

But here are some quotes from Card.

"I look forward to being George's Friend" and then he wept.

Yes, wept. A good friend of mine once had a real maniac tyrannical boss many years ago but would never cry in front of him. She would simply go to the bathroom and let it fly.

But yes, Andrew Card WEPT on camera, in front of his boss. He must be a hoot a weddings.

In 2001 when I got laid off, along with most of Northern California, there was no CRYING, on camera. In fact it was time for a month of Vacation for the Bush Admin.

Like Andrew will do, I just filed for unemployment, blew all my savings on an outrageously overpriced apartment (For the Mid-Westerners..avert your eyes. $2200 a month for 2 bedroom one bath with neither parking or dishwasher), eventually gave up and moved onto the floor of my pal's one bedroom in North Hollywood and sold myself into the world of Porn Accounting.

Andrew... I've been there... and you have a friend. And your friend has a couch that folds out.

Andrew, this one's for you!

Also remember your momma will always think you are cool.

Get her some Mothers Day Flowers

New Baddaaaass Blogs

I added a few new ones.

Also I was at 200 to 500 thousand person (depending on which paper you read) march in Los Angeles this weekend.

On accident, I was just going to the library.

Does it bug anyone else that all these immigrants have numerous flags of their home countries, rather than the flag of the one they want to join?

They wave Mexican Flags, Columbian Flags, Hondourus Flags, Iranian Flags....

They want to be treated like American's... try

I don't wave my Giants flag in Dodger Stadium.

Why did I move to LA? I couldn't find a job in San Francisco. But I try to blend in.

This bugs me.

Blogs I have lost interest in.

Ya know I decided to do some cleaning up on my blog roll..

To be honest when I started this blog a year plus ago, I thought I needed to include the big boys and while I still read them from time to time...

who gives a shit?

So I have dumped the following blogs from my blog roll.

Big Time Patriot
Daily Delay
Wonkette (I want to like the new Wonkette Since the change of tides.... it's like Swingers without Vince Vaughn and less stories about butt fucking.. and besides there is a much wittier, sharper tongue in town.. and I understand the rack is much better..)
Gawker... though I still have a weirdo crush on Jessica Coen.. Jessica call me..
Rude Pundit.. that fuck nut doesn't need my help.

I will from now on I will only stand for blogs that are FUN and INTERESTING social commentary! So if you get too INTO yourself and get all "Gold Telephone that only takes Wooden Nickels" the power of the Crackpot Press may just shut you down too!

"What the F Happened?" and "Bridesmaid Angie Akers"

I spend 37:00 minutes (basketball time) gloating as the Gonzaga Bulldogs beat the shit out opf UCLA with a bloody stump of homeless man who once had a very successful pilot in the mix.

Then it just crumbled. Gonzaga panicked. Sure Adam Morrison kept it together until the last seconds, when it finally hit him that the Bulldogs had blown a 17 point lead. And fell like a sissy to hardwood not so gooey center court and wept. The KISS like thunder clap that the entire UCLA team coming down on the Bulldogs was enough to start a remarkably sober man to start whispering conspiracy theories.

It simply came out of nowhere. I was stunnned as the Melrose Cantina burst to decible levels in the final seconds and Renne jumped and cheer banging her head on the tv set suspended from the ceiling just above her noggin.

I slithered away stunned.

But in PROFESSIONAL SPORTS, there is some strangeness brewing as well.

Holly McPeak has dumped her partner Jen Kessey for Rookie of the year (from Orinda, California) Nicole Brannagh. This is an interesting move. Last year McPeak split with longtime partner Elaine Youngs. After always coming in second the Walsh/May the decided they need to mix stuff up. Youngs took on the up and comer Rachel Walcholder and before the end of the year they had become the Skywalkers against the Black Draped (well as much as a bikini is draped) Vaders of May Walsh. And The AVP finally had it's first hardcore rivalry. The locals rooting for EY/Wach.. the tourists bangwagoning for the "Yankees of the beach" with those gold shiny shinies dangling below their napes.

A note on the Uniforms of May/Walsh: they shouldn't stray from the black. I am have seen them try to go more girly or more "summer"y at times. It doesn't work for them. If I may be so Blackwell let's compare:

I can see a difference.

















So EY gambled and chose up and comer Rachel Wacholder. Holly goes with the less risky Jen Kessey. Jen is a great player a real solid go to gal. The problem with a solid go to gal is you can't mentor them and this is where EY/Wach flourished. Rachel is a very into improving herself. In her early days on the beach I noticed that after losing a match (with then partner Angie Akers) she went immediately to the big board to see what other matches were going on. To study her opponents.. see what they were doing right and see what they were doing wrong.

And that is exactly what McPeak has done. She has traded on a risky move... Rookie of the Year Nicole Branagh (who had been partnered with... yep.. Angie Akers). Rookies are odd foks to put your money on. Review the list of Heisman Trophy winners and you will see what I mean.. O.J., Flutie and that freak Chris Wenke.

Nicole is good player that will only improve under McPeak's mentoring. And I think they will be a surprise throughout the season.

Which brings us to bridesmaid Angie Akers. When I first saw Angie play I thought in a few years she would be killing the competition. But is just hasn't happened... yet.
And she just keeps gewtting left at the alter as her teammates keep getting snatched up by the heavyweights. She is the Oakland A's of the beach... you get a Catfish, Jackson, McGwire or Giambi and they just go somewhere else and win the World Series. I really hope Angie finds the teammate she really clicks with. She deserves it.



(EDITOR'S NOTE: Some people have bitched at me saying my coverage of the AVP glamourizes the women's part of the sport... so as a footnote I add..

Nine out of the ten top men's pairs have also split up... cue the Neal Sedaka)

Bad Ass Blogs

UPDATE:
IF you give me your RSS FEED, I can add you in.


So I have been toying around with this idea.

On the main site I have added a section called "Bad Ass Blogs" which is poorly thought out and designed. But I dig the concept. So I went with it. For those of you who remember the first Crackpot Press.com site, I have never let details get in my way.

There is only five to start with and I intend to add more as time allows. Which from my last post, time is dwindling. Right now I can only do blogspot blogs.

Any idears?

Aw CRAP!

While it was a miserable office, being a Porn Accountant did have it's upside.

I could fuck off on the interent pretty much any day,all day I could enjoy all of my blogs to the right or figuratively to the left...

And now I have gone to a company who does not offer the internet. The software involved at this company is important to the company's well being. So important that one good virus could take them down. And more importantly take down their clients. Shit, I don't wanna be that guy.

So know I am internet-less during the day which keeps me clothed and coupled with not smoking during the day has delivered a one-two punch of withdrawl.

But DAMN! I'm productive.

Yo Blogger???

What's the deal?

Anyone with a blogspot site having issues?

Like I can't access my favorite site (like mine) regularly?

Lemme know

Nazi Yahtzee

Looks like Rumsfeld is pulling out the old Nazi Card Again.

(via Raw Story)

Let's get this straight...The Nazi's invaded Poland and a lot of other folks, created mass Atrocities, (including the torturing/murder of prisoners) supressed human rights on a grand scale, made sure there was large propaganda arm in the press.

Who are the Nazi's?

I forget.

Dear Greta.

Jill Carroll is still missing.

The Blue Lane.

After spending just a few quality days at the Crackpot Press Vacation Home Orlando, I feel refreshed and anxious to attend the LA Marathon Carbo Load dinner downtown with Ultra Marathoner (a real title) CPG.

It should be a nice relaxed evening.

But, alas, it got off to a rocky start. There is a god damn anti-war protest blocking off Highland, Hollywood Blvd, Cahuenga and Vine.

I hate protests. Perhaps I am lashing out at my fathertown, Berkeley, California also my Alma "Does it Matter" San Francisco State. Perhaps I just think that they are ineffective way of communication. If you are gonna take it to the streets... TAKE IT TO THE STREETS.. none of this pep rally crap. I suggest some art direction similar to the angry peasants from the last reel of any Frankenstein movie. People don't listen to rationale, the listen to burning torches and shouting. Not chanting.. SHOUTING!! Case in point, let's say you have a dispute with your HEalth Insurance Company. Do they respond to your rational argument or do they listen to "If I don't get some teeth in my fucking mouth TODAY, I am going come down and burn down your FUCKING OFFICE!!"?

The latter has always been a much more effective way of communication. YEs, that is a line I have said while missing two front bottom teeth.

Growing up It seemed like there was a new protest every week for something. We kept track of them because protestors usually have the best pot. Half the time we didn't even know what they were for.. fur, war (even though it was peace time), eco-friendly something, red paint worshiping, Greater Short-Tailed Bats (Mystacina robusta), "Legalize it" (it's pretty much legal in Berkely open and whole lotta other crap.

I once spent two hours talking to a Hemp activist.

Hippie: You make rope
Dave: And Smoke it
Hippie: Make Shirts
Dave: And Smoke it
Hippie: Make Gas out of it
Dave: And Smoke it.

Realizing this conversation could go on for hours as we were both baked out of our minds. We made friends and watched "Apocalypse Now."

People practicing to be the new Angela or Mario, because at SFSU they push non-jobs on you.
It's the San Fran equivilant of "Come See My Band" in LA. It has a real community theater feel about it.

So anyways.. it was evident that my 12 minute jaunt over to CPG's was going to take about 40 minutes. My BVGS is tanking (which is why I keep grape juice in the car) and the sheer amount of pollutants being put out in the air is a death quench. If people are at their destinations.. there are no pollutants in the air.

Now I against the war but I NEED TO BE SOMEPLACE HIPPIE!!!

But since I believe that everyone can have their little pep rallies.. I suggest the following.

A BLUE LANE, similar to a carpool lane, for those of us think the war in Iraq is a clusterfuck but NEED TO BE DOWNTOWN BY 5:30 or CPG is gonna kick my ass!

Basketball GOD!

Yes I am a NCAA BASKETBALL GOD.

As you all know from my football picks, I KNOW SPORTS!!!

So it should come as NO surprise that I am currently in 905455th in the ESPN tournament challenge!

I rule!

Something Strange

SAN DIEGO -- The arena for the first-round NCAA men's Tournament game between Alabama and Marquette was temporarily evacuated Thursday after bomb-sniffing dogs detected "something strange" on a food vendor's cart about two hours before tipoff.

Something Strange Smelling...?

At a stoner school..?

On a food vendor's cart?

Go figure...

Bugs not Body Armor

First Tina reports on Sharks with frickin laser beams.

And now they are making insect cyborgs to go virtually anywhere.

War Zones, Peace Rally's and Your HOUSE!

THE DOD is welcome to take any from my house to experiment on.

Call me a patriot.