People need the HOBO CODE

I stumbled upon this recently.

I thiknk we should all stand by this.

This Hobo Code.

s inscribed in the Annual Convention Congress of the Hoboes of America held on August 8, 1894 at the Hotel Alden, 917 Market St., Chicago Illinois;

1.-Decide your own life, don't let another person run or rule you.

2.-When in town, always respect the local law and officials, and try to be a gentleman at all times.

3.-Don't take advantage of someone who is in a vulnerable situation, locals or other hobos.

4.-Always try to find work, even if temporary, and always seek out jobs nobody wants. By doing so you not only help a business along, but insure employment should you return to that town again.

5.-When no employment is available, make your own work by using your added talents at crafts.

6.-Do not allow yourself to become a stupid drunk and set a bad example for locals treatment of other hobos.

7.-When jungling in town, respect handouts, do not wear them out, another hobo will be coming along who will need them as bad, if not worse than you.

8.-Always respect nature, do not leave garbage where you are jungling.

9.-If in a community jungle, always pitch in and help.

10.-Try to stay clean, and boil up wherever possible.

11.-When traveling, ride your train respectfully, take no personal chances, cause no problems with the operating crew or host railroad, act like an extra crew member.

12.-Do not cause problems in a train yard, Another hobo will be coming along who will need passage thru that yard.

13.-Do not allow other hobos to molest children, expose to authorities all molesters, they are the worst garbage to infest any society.

14.-Help all runaway children, and try to induce them to return home.

15.-Help your fellow hobos whenever and wherever needed, you may need their help someday.

16.-If present at a hobo court and you have testimony, give it, whether for or against the accused, your voice counts

Library Smut

I came across porn for REAL (dare I say, "HARDCORE") NERDS.

Where do we go NOWOWOWOW.

I know the boomer's, as usual, have been grabbin the headlines.

Paul McCartney.. Goldie Hawn on the cover of the AARP mag.

Discussing the death of Bruno Kirby...Giles Weaver and I got into a conversation about the movie "When Harry Met Sally" ("You made a woman MEOW??"...brilliant )

I told Giles that I caught the flick on cable recently and it didn't mean as much to me, now that we are older than the characters involved. He didn't buy it. "THOSE ARE OLD PEOPLE"

The "Harry Met Sally" people are older than us.

As a nineteen year old kid, getting high off of Diane.. it meant something. These old people and their problems. In retrospect... We would be blessed to have their problems. We would also be blessed to have the "problems" of the characters in "THE BIG CHILL" who we are now also older than. Your worst problem is that you had an affair and your estranged friend killed himself... bummer...

These characters seemed like a bunch of yuppies that had a bad divorce or breakup.... BUMMER!

The folks I know..... these "Harry and Sally" people have have as much impact on my life as the 90210 kids.

People I don't know. People who have never lost a job. People who have never lost a friend prematurely.. It's the life we wished we had.

Fucking Boomers...



Boomers.. it' s time for your last chance hangover mass...

What are you gonna do? What is your legacy?

Oh and by the way... the average age of the college fresman... was born the year this song came out....




Gen X... time to make your mark.

Work on that.

I know you have responsibilities....

But what are you up for?

So beezaree I watched it four times.

It gets better after the initial.

Those Wacky Snakes.

I won't spoil this flick at all. However, I was surprised at the smaller (yet extremely enthusiastic) crowd at the Mann's Bruin in the heart of Westwood last night.

The entrie crowd chanted along, making hissing sounds (even through the trailers) and the entire crowd chanting along with the no famous line. As a note my girlfriend refused to watch any clips of the movie prior to seeing it. Especially the now famous line.

Why?

"It would be like seeing the bride before the wedding."

However, I really think Kirk Honeycutt's review from The Hollywood Reporter really sums it up:

This represents a kind of entertainment genius along the lines of fun houses, roller coasters and tricks those Thai hookers perform with razor blades and soda bottles in Bangkok sex shows.

Well, done Kirk! Now THAT’S a flick I want to check out!

You don't get it?

Sam Jackson on the Daily Show. I called a friend yesterday to invite him and his gal to join CPG and myself tonight at the Bruin.

"I have no interest. I don't get it."

SNAKES. PLANE. SAM. WHAT IS THERE NOT TO GET?????

THE GLOVES COME OFF IN MANHATTAN

THE GLOVES COME OFF IN MANHATTAN!!

I love the fans at the Manhattan Beach Open. The Manhattan Beach Open is the Granddaddy of them all and this town knows their volleyball. This week there was a lot to talk about. Opinions and conspiracy theories about the Rachel Wacholder/Elaine Youngs split made it feel like a Kos Convention.

EY’s spins was “she wanted a taller, more athletic partner.” This makes as much sense stapling jelly to ceiling. EY has had more success on the tour with Rachel since Misty May and Kerri Walsh came on to the scene. Also that she proclaimed Nancy Mason as “temp partner” for the weekend… sems like some claws came out in France and Austria.

Then I heard Rachel’s side, which seems much more likely. Apparently at the FIVB in Paris two weeks ago, Elaine ripped into Rachel on the on the court (I’m trying to find the video). Elaine has always been a fiery player, but now she is screwing up the whole women’s league. In fact there are several new teams due to this break up. I’ll sort it all out for you in a second.

The only real winners are Kerri Walsh and Misty May who will probably not face a challenge for the rest for the season. Mostly because it will take all these new teams to get into a groove together. Also May droped 15 lbs lately due to an off season power work out "vacation" with her husband Matt Treanor, catcher forthe Florida Marlins.

But all this hoopla has had a impact on Wacholder’s playing style. EY and Rachel were very much a good cop/bad cop team. They both would play hard but Rachel was the introvert and Elaine was the digger, hell bent, often arguing with Ref’s. There has always been a time bomb in EY.

Rachel’s play this weekend was as good as she gets. But she was the one arguing and showing her temper off. The game prior to the match televised on NBC this weekend was hands down the BEST match I have ever seen in the years that I have been watching the sport.

Rachel Wacholder and Jenn Boss vs Holly McPeak and Nicole Branagh were tied at one game a piece going into the traditional Game Three 15 point face off. You need a two point marging to claim a victory. This led to a marathon of nail biting final match points.

The Final Score was 27-25 in favor of McPeak/Branagh, thanks to a bullshit call. Rachel was playing with a more extroverted passion than I had seen her play with. In the first match point which favored a poor call by the ref sent Rachel flying into in the Ref stand, pounding on his podium. Unlike most sports,in the AVP this kind of arguing can get a decision changed or at least a second opinion. All four of the women were on fire with every new point going down. I thought at any moment Branagh and Wacholder were going to lose it and rip each other throats out. Then I learned why. Just before the match Elaine had named Nicole Branagh as her new partner. Rachel had something to prove that day and she lost it on a blown call.

So here are the rumors on the new partnerships.

Elaine Youngs takes on last years Rookie of the Year, Nicole Branagh

Rachel Wacholder teams with Jen Boss, who was also her pick at the Vegas Shoot Out last year.

This leaves Nancy Mason (formerly with Boss) and Holly Mc Peak (formerly with Branagh) partnerless.

While they would be a good match up. Holly McPeak is leaning towards newcomer Logan Tom. Who knows what will happen with Mason.

A note about Holly, she one of the long standing Veterans of the beach and has been dabbling in the broadcast booth. She would have learned about Nicole’s partnership with her ex (Elaine). She did maintain her composure throughout the final games, though they were beaten badly by May/Walsh. Elaine Youngs has single handedly messed up all of the partnerships. Mason is a highly ranked player and deserves a good partner.

Here are some thoughts for her.

The Linquists (Tracey or Katie) did surprisingly well against McPeak and Branagh this last weekend. This would mean breaking up a very close sister partnership. Both of the two 5’7” sisters could benefit with partnering up with someone with height.

Angie Akers - Angie has always been a powerful force to reckon with has a history of not being able to close the deal.

Suzanne Stonebarger- An up and comer showing a lot of potential.

Tammy Leibl or Denise DeNecochea gave an impressive 2 game spanking to EY and Mason over the weekend. They would both be great with Mason, however after this weekend a break up between the too seems unlikely. As the last week has shown, strangers things have happened.

The only thing I can guarantee is that the early matches over the next few weeks are gonna the most competitive in Women’s AVP Action. Get ready for the slugfest.

For you New Yorkers… get over the Yankees… it’s gonna be a awesome on Coney Island this weekend.

Ice on Manhattan

On my way to the AVP Manhattan Beach open, I stopped at Shellback’s Tavern. The Ultra Festive Peanut Butter Jelly People were in one corner noshing on a breakfast of fried what not and vodka shots.

They have added some new gals to the clan and there alterations to the PBJ uniform were indeed a pleasant surprise. Rosie’s Raider’s, ever sullen, were on the other side of the beach front tavern (“a proper bar,” as my friend Greg would say) grumbling profanities about the bartender and sucking down Budweiser’s. All was right for 10:00 on a Friday morning. Even the bartender was wearing wearing a “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” t-shirt.

But all was not right. There has been an ice storm spread over the the jovial sport of Pro-Beach Volleyball. After I down a quick one I ran smack dab into it. There on court two was Rachel Wacholder with new partner Jenn Boss.

Rachel and Elaine Youngs split surprisingly this week. As I mentioned before, it didn’t make sense. Still trying to figure it out. Jolted lesbian fantasies have been on my mind. My girlfriend has set me straight.

She tells me it is a figment of my over-hormoned mind. But what does she know about sports?

Also in attendance was the new coach , who’s name I don’t know.

An older scallywag of a man, he seems like the perfect gentleman to swap stories with at the PoopDeck in Hermosa.

He looks like the veteran pro-beach volleyball player with one good play left in him. Rache and the Boss haven’t quite found their click yet. They won in two tight matches against Logan Tom and Brooke (formerly Niles) Hanson. You may remember Logan from her Olympian FHM Spread.

Prior to the game, I ran directly into Nancy Mason, Elaine Young’s new partner. I apologized and like the ex-boyfriend no one wants to talk to, I sheepishly make my way to a comfortable spot on the beach. Nancy is wearing a Frank’s Red Hot’s Visor. That’s Rachel’s old sponsor. I got cross.

It was then that Nancy and EY start doing drills in the Crocs’ Court.. usually reserved for children. Then the power play-- EY and Mason start drilling in the court right next to the game. Almost as if to say “You want to see skills? WE GOT SKILLS!!” Yes that is the THIN WHITE BEAST behind them.

At this point, I am thinking I am over-imagining everything. Look everyone loves a feud. We all know that it doesn’t make sense to break up that team up at this point in the season.

Rache and the Boss take down Tom/ Niles-Hanson in two. Rache and the Boss go back to their coach area and start talking to him. EY and Mason take the court and this is where the Ice Storm begins. There are no handshakes, there is no eye contact. The scent of Black Licorice is in the air. It might not be what I thought it was, but it smells of fued, the nonsensical type of feud-- Which my girlfriend does know about.

In the coach’s corner there is some conversation, the players dress themselves in sarongs and move to the big board. And Rachel seems alone. I wanted to talk to her, but as a 37 year old man… that would be creepy. At my age and wearing a brace there is a thin line between enthusiastic fan and fucking creepy guy. It was compounded by Liz Masayakan’s (EY/RW coach’s) appearance. Apparently, Liz has taken sides…

On the flip side, the Linquisdt sisters gave EY and Mason a run for there money. I love this sister team. They took them to four or five match points in Game 2. I have a hard time telling them apart so forgive me if I screw up the details.

Nancy Mason bolted a far shot in one of the match points. Katie L. ran KrazEE and dove after it bolting a shot skyward. Her sister Tracy, nearly out -of-bounds and with only one hit to get it over the net plays slugger and jolts the ball off of her wrist (Kirk Gibson style) to get it over the
net. F-ing brilliant. I’ve been saying it for years, these two sisters are DUE!

There was also a turn in fandom. The crown clearly favored the Linquisdt sisters over EY and Mason. AVP fans tend to prefer the underdog. Kerri Walsh was right behind me during the match. Even one of the best players in the game wants to know what’s up. EY and Mason came off as bullies. Even after the sisters lost there was a big hand for the two. For short girls, they play tough. We like that.

So here is the deal. Tomorrow, roughly 8:30 or 9:00 am… Rache and the Boss face off with EY and Mason. Unless there is some kind of weirdo upset, this could possibly be one of the greatest AVP matchups of all time. I know it’s early for Saturday. But show up.

The four of them will.

Update: AW CRAP! They both got knocked down to the losers’s (oh wait CONTENDER’S ) … Everyone is gonna be ultra pissed off in the morn….

It’s time to get your war on!

She's Back!

Man I guess she is really serious about this.

Mary Carey is trying to get on the ballot for this November's Election. Check out her new Platform.

Hannity Sucks ASS!

What could be on the back of the Ned Lamont Sign?



Here's a Hint....

What happened?

What happened?

You want shocking, I’ll give you shocking.

Nope has nothing to do with Joe Leiberman, Mel Gibson or even Britney.

One of the greatest sports franchises has split up. The winning combination of Elaine Youngs and Rachel Wacholder have gone splitsville.

There was no reason given for the split. They have done well beating the seemingly unstoppable Kerri Walsh and Misty May twice this year. Elaine Youngs will be matching herself up with Nancy Mason and Rachel will be teaming up with Jen Boss.

The pairings make sense. They are all fierce players. However there is one weird unwritten rule about women’s beach volleyball

See a pattern? One Blonde, One Brunette. I am not aware of any redheads in the sports.
I think it has something to do with skin cancer. There are only three teams I can think of that break this rule.

Even odder is the timing of this split. EY and Rachel vs. Kerri and Misty have been the Yankees and the Red Sox of women’s sports. 9 out of 10 times it is a fantastic matchup. With the Grandaddy of them all, the Manhattan Beach Open this weekend and the next tourney being Boulder (both EY and RW get a lot of support from their hometown crowds) the timing seems weird. There is something suspicious going on here.

There is something going on here. Something more than “we need to do something different”.

And what becomes of their coach Liz Masakayan , perhaps the most talented coach in women’s sports? The three of them together are the most awesome, tenatious Chinese Fighting fish combination I could think of.

No disrespect to Boss and Mason, but these new teams are not gonna click. EY and Rachel I would not sit next to each other at a dinner party. Rachel has speed. EY is is a fierce dominator. As the years have gone one it's obvious they have taken on a lot of each others qualities. On paper they don’t make sense. On the beach, they do.

None of it makes sense. What could have happened?

Manhattan Beach Open!

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Spun.

Okay so I don't do Britney news. BUT.



I find it funny that the movie that Britney wants to go see is SPUN. Regardless that this is terrible pretentious look at people who do WAY too much meth. It is shot at the world famous STARGARDEN... which is right down the street from my house. In fact, there are many scenes in this movie that are shot in and around my neighborhood.

So I guess it confirms... Britney is Valley Trash too!

Are you in it?

So... here's the deal...

I posted a certain video of self importance recently (see below). And I got some flack.

They didn't post their comments; they emailed me at crackpot@crackpotpress.com

Hurtful emails.... "I shouldn't take N.O. so lightly"... "Im a bitch" yada yada

Officially, This is the only cause I am for...


RAMONES AID!!!




This and stem cell research.

EXECUTE LEE SALEM

Your crippled crackpot consierge (shit, I hate alliteration it like when a guy makes a you tube video on new superheroes... so easy)

Gives the mic to Giles Weaver.

EXECUTE LEE SALEM

Lee Salem is the President of Universal Press Syndicate. They distribute Ann Coulter’s hateful columns. Mr. Salem wants to preserve his profit margin so badly that he even penned a defense of Coulter in response to a critical article of her at Editor & Publisher (which can be read here: http://www.editorandpublisher.com). So, who is the more disgusting human being: Lee Salem, the man in charge of pimping out her hateful and absurd rhetoric, or the pathetic mean-spirited Ann Coulter herself? I say that both of them are equally responsible for lowering the discourse in this country to venomous and inaccurate attacks on anything and everything. Coulter is the embodiment of the shallow, embarrassing, and futile direction the conservative movement has taken this country, and men like Lee Salem, and their never ending quest to make a buck, enable this treacherous moron to continue to hold up intolerance and idiocy as a virtue. It is impossible to counter people like this with silly things like facts, historical perspective, and common human decency. I wonder if Lee Salem would be defending Coulter if he were the target of her calls for execution? My answer is NO, because in the end, Mr. Salem is the worst kind of coward. Why don’t you ask him?

Lee Salem: letters@editorandpublisher.com

And remember – be as nasty, crude, mean, and brainless as you can. I’m sure he won’t care because that’s how this jackass makes his money. Ask him if he has any 14 year-old daughters that our Marines can “get to know?” Tell him you know where he lives (since the right wing bloggers are posting NY Times writers addresses on the internet and he is their defender I think that’s called ‘”parity”). Ask him if he believes the editors of The Wall Street Journal should be executed as well? Ask him why the government hasn’t filed charges if they’ve done anything illegal, and if they haven’t, why does he let Coulter call for the death of fellow American citizens? Tell him nobody in his family is safe. Let’s see how fast he changes his mind when I crank out one article every single day calling for his immediate and swift death by firing squad.

If anyone out there has any respect for the “mainstream media” anymore, then you don’t even deserve to live here. Ann Coulter and Lee Salem certainly don’t.

Hunka Hunka Hunka steaming

Does this rank as one of the most self important moments ever?