Saturday, October 22, 2005

Mud Pride!

By now I hope we've all heard about the hottie NAZI pre-teen girls Lamb and Lynx, whose musical stylings are all the rage in the American white nationalist movement. There's nothing like underage blonde twins crooning about Rudolph Hess to get the white blood pumping is there?

When Lamb and Lynx aren't entertaining white nationalists, they like to wind down like most pre-teens: by dancing around a swastika or playing a vido game called ETHNIC CLEANSING. In ETHNIC CLEANSING white people storm through "the ghetto" and blow away African Americans, Hispanic Americans, and I guess anybody else who Lamb and Lynx affectionately call "MUD" -- anyone who is not white.

I remember when I was a pre-teen and it was already pretty difficult to rap up hot white blond twins. If I saw Lamb and Lynx I'd have the added issue that in their spare time they're blowing "me" away with shotguns in a video game. I'm not African American or Hispanic, but I'm sure as hell "MUD." It's weird to think you are the "enemy" in a video game. I think I now understand why the Somalis aren't very thrilled with the (mainstream) video game BLACKHAWK DOWN. I'd say "What's next? Aushwitz: the Game?" But there's probably already one, you've just got to know where to find it.

I know this is not going to be a very popular sentiment but I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway -- risking the wrath of sane people everywhere: I like white people. I know! I know! But I do. Hell, I even married one! Believe me when I say it doesn't get any more white than Mrs. Giles Weaver, except perhaps Lamb and Lynx. I even like Crackpot and Nude Fat Man and those are some weird whities! In fact, all my brothers and sisters married white people too. I guess we're just ADDICTED TO WHITE PEOPLE. Perhaps we collectivelly have a major problem that is not solvable through the marvels of modern science or idiot theories like "intelligent design" (the Earth is 6000 years old --- HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But I digress).

Speaking of the age of the Earth, I don't blame Lamb and Lynx for their racist songs. They are truly too young to understand what's going on. I think they just like being on stage and singing. Not to mention that as soon as they turn 18 I'm IN! As mentioned before, I like white people -- especially female ones who can sing. It's a terrible weakness.

I have two more things to mention: The first thing is that I love being MUD. I'm part of one of the oldest and most honored civilizations on Earth. Eat that whitie! The second thing is that every single person currently living, including snackie Lamb and Lynx, can be traced to the very first woman through mitochondrial DNA. This is not some crackpot theory. It's a fact and there's nothing anybody can do about it. And tracing mitochondrial DNA back through all the generations and MILLIONS of years that Man and Woman have ruled this fair planet reveals one irrefutable fact: we all came from MUD! If you're interested in knowing more about that, check out THE SEVEN DAUGHTERS OF EVE by Bryan Sykes. It's spooky and perfect for Halloween!

So arise, MUD version of Lamb and Lynx! Rise snackie MUD GIRLS! Take guitars in hand and crank out some MUD PRIDE! You've got millions of years worth of experiecence to draw upon (and as your lawyer I should mention that short skirts never hurt anything).

I've got to go now. I just got a new video game called "WHERE ALL THE WHITE WOMEN AT?"

1 comment:

Neil Shakespeare said...

Ah, The Hitler Twins! Nothing like underaged sex, hatred and the prospect of big money to be made to bring out the Republican in us all. I did my own post on this called "AUSCHWITZ MINUTE". Just found your blog from your very funny comment on your future wife flip-flopping on the blowjob issue (and then playing the blame game too, I suppose) over at AGITPROP. Glad I found it. I've got your bookmarked and I'll be checkin' back in.